I'll get you my pretty..

Had a quiet, traditional Xmas dinner along at my parents, then visited others. Hope you have had a good one. Took a few photos with the new camera of course, this one is me doing my "Wizard of Oz" wicked witch impersonation..

Shopping

Had today off which was nice. Got up about 11..bliss.. then headed out for lunch and then went shopping in Kirkcaldy. Suppose it's about time to start the Xmas mad rush! I managed to buy a few pressies-you can't go wrong with booze and chocolate! Still, have quite a few still to buy. Been playing around with a good value digital camera my mater bankrolled for me as a present today. The chaotic bookshelves reflect the owner's life at present. Shame I'd moved all the classsics of English literature to another part of the living room, leaving mindbuilding material such as Viz annuals etc on view!

Hello again!

I'm back! Was in Heidelberg first, visiting Clemens and family (which seems to include Oli these days- those who know will understand..). We went to our traditional haunts and, as usual, in the Sonderbar I asked for a traditional yuletide song to be played..TNT by ACDC..well, it's that kind of bar. Anyway, I got my Glühwein at the Xmas market and next day it was off to Stuttgart and a flight to Vienna. Vienna is a really nice city, took in some culture (e.g. Museums, Hofburg, St Stephen's Cathedral) and more Glühwein next to a huge floodlit church on Karl's Platz (see photo). The heated wine not half warms you up on cold winter evenings, so I was positively roasting when I staggered away from the christmas revellers, singing "Vienna" by Ultravox. We also went to the Prater, where we visited the Planetarium which was excellent. Next day Stuttgart awaited, our magnificent team (Me, Janet, Carla, Olivier) won the quiz in the English pub near the centre and gulped down the winner's Sekt with gusto.

Got back yesterday about midnight after about a 12 hour journey involving trams, trains, bus, planes but no automobiles. Good old Scotland...cold, dreich, but possessing a certain charm, at least it does now that I'm back.... ha haaaaaaa

Tschüss

They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven or is he in hell? That damned elusive..Black Toenail. Yes, a souvenir of the West Highland Way, the big toenail on the right has gone totally black, so at least a part of me has natural rhythm!

Ich verabschiede mich, werde die Woche in Deutschland und Wien verbringen.

Rainforest

It was my turn to drive to work today (I car-share with 3 others) and not only was an accident blocking the bridge causing massive tailbacks, but the weather was the worst it's been in ages. All this and it was still dark too- unsurprisingly I began thinking about how life could be better. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to escape this glorious country forever but at least 6 months of the year would surely be more enjoyable spent abroad in a place like Brazil. A friend, and former colleague of mine, sent this rather interesting picture of herself from that very country the other day- it certainly beats Edinburgh at rush hour! I know what you're thinking, and I agree, the rainforest by the sea looks lovely.

lazy

The "couple of pints" in Edinburgh actually ended up being about a couple of gallons. Texted a couple of people I probably shouldn't have. Nights like that, once common in my youth, are now rare however. Awoke this afternoon to find a half-eaten pizza sharing my bed - could have been worse I suppose!

Edited this blog entry today- Sunday. Should have headed along the coast today but ended up getting up very late again. Having one of those days when I can't be bothered doing anything at all, it was a struggle to switch even the PC on. Perhaps I should put some clothes on because I'm sure a neighbour saw me walking naked into the kitchen. Then again, why was she staring in?

The KKK took my baby away

Just watched a DVD about the Ramones, the right-wing guitarist stole the left-wing singer's girlfriend and the feud lasted about 20 years until one of them died, still, at least the singer wrote a good song about it. It seems it's not only members of famous bands that have problems like this. .

Was murder at work today but at least tomorrow is Friday, I'll go out for a couple in the capital after work, it's been a while since I tripped the light fantastic over there. I was thinking today, why is it that I always have to wait behind people who don't know how to work cash machines? I mean they've been a part of our lives for 20 odd years yet some old grannies act as if they have never seen one before. It's always when I'm in a rush to catch a train or bus too. Shame the KKK haven't taken the geriatric old bedwetters away too. Oohhh controversy..

darkness

Back into the normal routine now, getting up in darkness, going to work, coming back in darkness. It will be like this for ages now, how depressing. Well, I am going over to Europe in December so I've not too long to wait. After we got back from Fort William after our week-long, heroic, West Highland odyssey, we decided to do some Fife coastal walking too. This dreadful photo, taken by Tavis on his phone, shows the conquering highland heroes in a most unflattering light. I can assure my loyal reader(s) that we are really just good friends! Thanks for the camp pose Clemens.

Went to Lidl on way back from work- proper German Lentil soup on offer! Got myself a trolley and filled it up. Lovely jubbly.

Success

We finished the West Highland Way yesterday! Have a few blisters and some aches and pains but it was worth it. More later..

jetzt geht's los

It may be Friday night but I'm not enjoying myself too much, have a new rucksack but I've just discovered how little will fit in it! I've had to sacrifice tons of stuff already and there's more to take out if it is to be carried for a week on the West Highland Way. I'll try no to fash masel aboot it however. My walking companion will arrive from Germany in about 3 hours time, little does he know that I've been drinking the beer in the fridge I bought for him, what he's never had he'll never miss eh? I'm certainly looking forward to the weizenbock beer he's bringing me however :-p ha ha ha, he shouldn't have told me eh? Bis zum nächsten Mal!

Lyric

Was driving into work today with a lyric stuck in my head "No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark" and it took me a while to remember it was from "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors. It kinda sums up my..er..week so far, apart from the wine part of course!

wandered

I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o'er vales and hills, when all at once I saw a pub, a host of golden Holsten Pils..

Walked along the coast with a couple of pals on Saturday, great weather, ended up partaking of liquid refreshment in an Aberdour Inn. Must get in practice for the West Highland Way afterall! The walking was good too.

globalisation

Have you noticed that globalisation is creeping into even farflung corners of our glorious country? I spent time in Germany a few years ago and you could rest assured there was no chance of a white pudding supper washed down with Iron Brew, now perhaps? Well probably not actually, the point I was trying to make is that I've just been to Lidl for very cheap German lager. Shame you can't get authentic German lentil soup though!! I like German things, provided they taste nice (and aren't total bitches!! haaaaaa). Oh, I am witty tonight..

Heil Kitler

I have a new ally in the struggle against the old maid pigeon feeding Mafia- my pal Kitler. Gorgeous isn't he? He goosesteps around the garden chasing off the birds while all the time formulating plans for world domination. He charismatically miaows most evenings before leaving his brown-feathered sparrow stormtroops to protect his domain until his return next day. Those sparrows better look out because I'm sure he's planning to purge a few of them..

Age

It makes you feel old (even me!) when someone in your training group, who you thought was much older, turns out to be seventeen. Year of birth 1989 for gods sake! Seems like yesterday..I mentioned to a colleague last year if she thought the Live 8 concert was as good as the Live Aid one back in 1985, her reply that she was two at the time was a little deflating. I watched it at a friend's house with a beer in my hand. Whatever was his mother doing, plying an eight year old boy with booze? Also makes you feel older when people you think are positively ancient only turn out to be a couple of years older too! Why this age obsession I hear you ask? You're still young, handsome and stunning..exactly, I'll worry in another 5 years.

Respect

Back home and sober! Now there's a Friday night experience most of my readership won't have had in recent times. Was through in Kdy, was going to go to nightclub with my drinking buddies until I realised I couldn't really be bothered. The entry charge never crossed my mind because I'm really generous and have no stinginess issues at all. I'd have fallen asleep there anyway.

Was shocked earlier in the week to hear of the death of the great Australian Steve Irwin, he was someone I really admired. He was a kick-ass spokesman for conservationism and against animal cruelty and the killing of animals for fun. His programs were/are educational, who couldn't admire his knowledge and enthusiasm? He deserved a lot more than than the 44 years he was given. A hero in Khaki.

Bloody ironic really that the scumbag Ian Huntley took an overdose and failed to kill himself in the same week! There really is no justice in the world!

Who?

Was this the quickest week ever? Maybe, perhaps because I wasn't looking forward to the weekend. I've a lot of homework for my course to do but what have I done? Nothing! Now I've a couple of days left and the pressure is on! I've always needed the pressure, even when I was at University I was always running to hand an essay in that was due in about 2 minutes time. I wasn't at Uni to write essays or dissertations afterall, I was there to booze and play pool. In fact I got a joint first class honours. So who is it? Clue for Tavis: She's female.

Back and bitten

Hallo schon wieder! OK enough German, had a great 2 weeks in eastern Germany, went to Jena, Weimar and Berlin and other interesting places. Even went to Buchenwald concentration camp but unfortunately couldn't find "wish you were here" postcards for my countless devoted friends! Arrived back yesterday and was at work today despite being eaten almost alive by a vicious horde of midges/mosquitoes on my last night in Germany. Problem is I'm allergic to the bites and now have huge seeping swellings on arms, legs and body. Apart from that I'm still totally gorgeous so there's no need for Calvin Klein to cancel my contract. This photo was sent to me by one of my Jena German-course friends, it shows a few of people who had the pleasure of my company-hence the wide smiles..or maybe it was because it was the last night..? Note my amazing impression of a tomato. I think fruit and vegetable impersonations are my way to fame and fortune. Yeah! strawberry, melon, pear, celery stick, gooseberry..I can see it now, I'll have to get an agent.

Auf Wiedersehen

Jetzt ist es soweit, ich melde mich für die nächste zwei Wochen ab. Ich fliege morgen nach Leipzig und werde wahrscheinlich die ganze Zeit in den neuen Bundesländern verbringen-bin auf jeden Fall in Jena für die erste sechs Tage. Ich werde euch vermissen. Ich weiss noch nicht ob ich dort Internetzugang haben werde, wenn ja, werde ich die Gelegenheit benutzen hier irgendwas zu schreiben.

Alles gute

keep fit

No..I don't know why I mentioned that either, wouldn't be surprised if I started mentioning the storming of the Bastille next! It's strange what I write sometimes but then if I was only to write what's happened to me every day it wouldn't make for too interesting reading most days (aaahhh). What do you mean it isn't interesting anyway???

Anyway I have been good and tidied my luxurious flat up, even the washing-up is in the process of being done. Had pasta for tea then went for a walk along the beach, of course at that moment the heavens opened so I ran home again. I'll have to get into this running lark, it's a good way to keep fit and it's free- unlike swimming or going to a gym (who said Scots were tight?). Yeah, I'll be fit as a fiddle in next to no time! Think it will have to wait until after my calorie-laden trip to the former GDR though. Wouldn't it be great if there was pub called "The Gym" so you could impress your colleagues and friends by proudly telling them you're off to the gym every night!

Conspiracy

Anyone who has watched Oliver Stone's JFK or other programs or documentaries which distort the truth might think that conspiracy is widespread and that Kennedy was shot by Neil Armstrong and Elvis on the grassy knoll. Wrong. Sometimes the simple truth is just that- the truth. With regard to the goings on in Dallas in 1963, the problem for many is that they can't believe that someone as significant as JFK could be killed by a loser like Lee Harvey Oswald. That he was a former US marine sharpshooter is often overlooked. At least there are no conspiracy theories about who shot Oswald, if not the reasons behind it. This photo shows Oswald a second before Jack Ruby wiped him out.

Been tidying up like mad today, even cut the grass and painted a windowsill. Oh, the wild bachelor lifestyle I lead! It's good to recharge the batteries some weekends though. My partying days are approaching..

politics

Was busy at work today, only about a week to go until my holiday though! Oh, I'll be a happy bunny next week, a very happy bunny. Talking of which, I came across a suicidal one which tried desperately to throw itself under my car this morning- must have been depressed- luckily I didn't assist the suicide and swerved to avoid the long-eared carrot-muncher.

If it's good enough for the Basques, why not for Fifers? Yeah, separatism is the way to go, not this independence bullshit that's cost us Scots millions already.. and that's only for the laughing-stock debating chamber! Fife has an RAF base, the Rosyth naval shipyard, and lots of soldiers are recruited here, so it's obvious that we should annexe neighbouring territories and create a greater Fife empire. Fifeland, Fifeland über alles, über alles in der Welt! Oh, the sheer glory of it all.

Intellectual

Well, that's another weekend gone. Started off at my nephew's 7th birthday party on Friday and it was there that most of the weekend's intellectual discussion took place- the rest of the time was spent in Kirkcaldy pubs with the usual suspects, talking about who was the most tightfisted and who had the least hair. Today I chilled in the flat watching the golf, and tidying up the spare room a bit..well I put one old letter in the bin, the rest will have to wait.

The photo here shows 2 intellectuals discussing the works of Goethe and Schiller in an artistic Kirkcaldy hangout.

Highland Games

Was off work yesterday, went along to the the famous Burntisland Highland Games, not that I saw too many competitors, it was much too hot for me so what did I do? Yeah, I went into the Inchview Hotel and had a couple of cooling pints. Afterwards I returned to Kinghorn in the mobile sauna that was pretending to be a bus. I even managed to rake up a few leaves in the garden and cut the grass. A hard day's work indeed.

Back to proper work today though, had to give training all day in a boiling hot room. I almost had to do the full monty to cool down, certainly made the training more interesting for the lucky ladies.. :-p

walk

Brilliant weather today, or yesterday, if you want seeing it's after midnight now. Today has been worth living through. Started off getting up late-for me 10am- and then went shopping for food in Kirkcaldy. I also took the opportunity to go to the car wash. Upon my return, I decided to exercise my lazy ass by walking from Leven to Kinghorn. I have to get in training for the West Highland Way afterall! Anyway, I walked about 4 hours into the sun this afternoon.

fee fi fo fum

Was thinking in a spare moment today (I do sometimes) about how scary some childhood books were..as you do..

Fee fi fo fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
Be he alive or be he dead
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

Jack and the beanstalk- just one example of a scary childhood story. There are loads of others however:

Hansel and Gretel- being forcefed sweets until they are fat enough to eat (child n chips supper?)
Rumpelstiltskin - wanted to take someones baby for spinning gold (eh?)
Repunzel- baby taken by witch and growing up imprisoned in a tower (wierd or what?)
Little Red Riding Hood- murderous wolf with evil intentions
Billy goats gruff- What was that Troll doing down there..

I'm sure a psychologist could tell you the hidden meanings in these masterpieces of terror literature, they certainly made me lose some beauty sleep as a child..not that you'd notice.

wind

I hate wind- and I don't mean mine! Anytime there is the slightest wind, a ton of ivy leaves fall onto my wee grassy oasis of antipigeonfeedingism- a bastion against the old maid mafia- and that means I've to rake up and put the mountain of leaves into the gorgeous new brown wheelie-bin. It's turning into an almost full-time job, or it would be if I could be bothered. It wouldn't be so bad if almost every ivy leaf wasn't covered in flying rat droppings.

Why do our lives go into limbo during the week? I can't think of anything memorable that's happened to me on recent wednesday nights. Then again..the same would be true of the last couple of Friday nights! Haaaahaa

beermats

Spent the last two nights drinking the Herrnbräu Brewery dry at Kirkcaldy's Bavarian beer festival and am suffering for my sins today. Ended up in a nightclub too, though the memories of that are hazy. My friend called today to say a bouncer had kindly requested that he discontinue gracing the establishment with his presence..or words to that effect. I wasn't there to witness the glorious scene as I had already departed into the night.

It's amazing what can be found in your pockets after a night out, I have about 7 Herrnbräu beermats, a street map of Ingolstadt, a couple of Ingolstadt stickers and a lovely wee teddy bear called Bernadett!

The photo here was at the start of the festivities. Gorgeous t-shirt eh? Maybe the teddy bear was a prize for wearing it?

Planning..

Been under the weather the last couple of days, but things are slowly getting better. Was off work yesterday but struggled in today. Tomorrow is the last day of the week for me because I've Friday off. I intend heading to Kirkcaldy along the coastal path tomorrow. The destination? Beveridge Park, where the fabled Bavarian Bierfest is taking place. If it's even half as good as the legendary 2003 extravaganza I'll be happy.

The Germany-Italy game was good yesterday, at least the Germans went down fighting, the same couldn't be said of England's flops a few days ago.

My decision to finally do the West Highland Way has been liberating. Am planning already. The Heidelberg hippy Clemens had better bring some quality German booze with him that's for sure. And lots of money for the pints he owes me..

dead

It's kinda depressing when you see a good film then look up the actors/actresses on the net to find they are all dead. Watched "A matter of life and death" on DVD last week, OK everyone knows David Niven died a while back, but the rest? Very weird to see co-star Raymond Massey died on exactly the same day as Niven in 1983! Spooky or what? Even the cute young US airwoman (Niven's love interest) died of old age a couple of years back..makes you think. Don't put off til tomorrow what you could do today. Life is short.

Something I've been putting off for ages- the walking of the West Highland Way, will definitely be taking place later this year. I'll be doing things from now on, not postponing them.

nothing

Overdid the end of week celebrations yesterday and have been out of action today. Watched England being eliminated from the World Cup. They got what they deserved. Not a bad job Sven's had these last few years eh? Over £4 Million a year for what exactly?

Very warm in the flat today, even with the windows open it's been unbearable.

Tomorrow is another day..

festival

Almost the end of June already! Every year gets quicker. It would be better if I had enough money not to bother going to work, it's going to work that makes every day so boringly similar. It would be so much better travelling the world and sipping cocktails on some exotic tropical island..but then again things ain't so bad. Heard today that there's going to be a Bavarian music and beer festival in Kirkcaldy next week. Three years ago there was a legendary one and film of it still exists, not that one of my friends is very proud of that film, eh Tavis? Ich freue mich schon darauf!

numb

Went to dentist yet again today, have been there quite a few times recently about two crowns. Am still numb as I write this, not just from the treatment but also from the open-wallet surgery that followed! Still, I might not have to go back for a while, we'll see.

P.S. During the treatment they always have the radio on, I knew the answer of the radio competition and it was frustrating as hell listening to the dentist and the nurse discussing possible answers- wrongly- when you have no way to speak! Next time I'll take a pen and piece of paper..

Save the whales

Sometimes there's nothing in the news to get excited about but that is not the case when it's to do with bloodthirsty Japanese and their desire to inflict a painful death on countless innocent whales. Pro-whaling nations have apparantly won a vote toward the resumption of commercial whaling. This should not be allowed to happen. The granade-tipped harpoons should be aimed at the perpetrators of this madness, not the whales.

weekend

What a weekend! Was out in Kirkcaldy last night and again tonight! Remember that 80's kids? Going out both Friday and Saturday!? Was good, I'll even remember most of the evening which is a bonus. I even saw people singing karaoke while they were still sober..certainly not something I'd do!

P.S. Tonight was a real united nations: Scotland, Poland, Denmark and Belgium were all represented, shame that there was little opportunity to mention my support of Germany during the World Cup..or maybe I did? Who knows?

CD

Lovely day today, blue sky and sunshine. Thursday is my second favourite weekday, no prizes for guessing which day is my favourite. Had trouble with the car's CD player today, couldn't get the CD to eject. Was swerving all over the road to the beat of "highway to hell". Have worked it out now though so other drivers and rabbits etc should be safe from now on. Have a nice day!

Twin towns

Driving through various towns and villages I see twin town this or that on the signs. What a lot of balls. Just an excuse for councillors to travel at the council-tax payers expense if you ask me. It would be better if the twinned towns were interesting. I'll be getting in touch with the council to have Kinghorn twinned with Bangkok, Las Vegas..and, of course, Wankheim.

space

Slept through the alarm this morning, eventually woke up at 6.20 and was out the flat within 10 mins. The new car is running well so arrived in Edinburgh with time to spare. Had a weird dream about extra-terrestial lifeforms (no, haven't been to the local nightclub for a while!). If space is infinite could it be there are millions of earths? And if there are, do the dinosaurs still rule on some of them? Don't suppose I'll ever find out..but I did see a UFO hovering over Edinburgh a few years ago. Back to reality..

clone

Monday morning, I just love Monday mornings. Am at work and looking forward to another week of fun and games here in the office. Wasted the weekend, am going to make up for it next time though..see? Monday and I'm planning for the weekend already, wishing my life away. I'd like a time-machine, so if I can't be bothered I could just fast forward..or a clone! The clone could job share with me, i'd only have to work every other day, and no one would be any the wiser!

update

Ok, so it should have been "newborn blog"..there are people who care! Really! Shame the Ivory Coast lost. Tomorrow is another day.

New born blog

My trustworthy friend got drunk last night therefore is unable to cruise the bars of Fife's finest large town. I am not too bothered to be honest, this warm weather tires me. I'm dreaming of stormy, rainy days all of a sudden. I don't like to lie out in the sun anyway (being fair I don't tan, just go lobster pink).

Like millions of other geezers, I'm in world cup fever. It's a brilliant excuse to booze guilt-free during the day! Shame it's only every 4 years, i feel guilt the rest of the time..

I'm supporting Ivory Coast at the moment, the argies are ahead as I write this but hey..winning isn't everything! Being a Raith Rovers fan I'm used to success NOT.

P.S I'm new to blogger so added the photo as a test, I'll add a larger version another day. I'm on the left. My beach can just be seen.
Ciao for now.
Al