Ancient tree

I just can't believe I forgot to update in March, I know many of you were eagerly awaiting the March update and..well, I meant to but forgot, that's what happens when you reach my advanced age. Anyway, last month went out with a bit of a snow storm but today is stunning and gorgeous, just like me..

Have booked a couple of flights abroad because it's good to have something to look forward to after these hellish months of snow and ice. What I been up to? Well, this and that, I have had a tree on my mind for a lot of the time, a tree that I grew up beside (more exactly opposite) and is about 150 years old, so even it is older than me! A local cowboy builder had plans to kill it and build shoddy flats over the ancient roots but my dad and I gathered a posse and defeated his nonsensical plans, though he can appeal the council's decision. I will keep you all posted on developments, and provide you with better photos of the gorgeous tree than this one I took.

Went walking last weekend, intended to go to Crail but the roads were closed for some reason or other so got off bus in Elie instead and walked again to Leven from there. The Chain Walk could not be attempted because of high tide, believe me, I would have drowned this time!  

Here are a few photos, one is of the wonderful tree, one is of my local pub, the other is of Earlsferry, near the Chain Walk.  

 

Bye bye February

It's amazing that two months are already gone, every year gets quicker. What have I been up to? Well, this and that, I went to Elie and walked to Leven, which included the famous chain walk. I hadn't even thought about my dodgy wrist/arm before attempting this, but was reminded by a considerable amount of pain while halfway up a cliff face. Still, the tide wasn't totally in and I managed it. For those that don't know, when the tide is in, any mistake can be deadly, indeed it has claimed many people over the years.

Stunning bridges

Hello people! The snow has finally gone, being happy about it probably means I'm an old git now! Still, driving is possible again so that's good. Just back from work, just had a bottle of Schlenkerla Rauchweizen (a most magnificent smoked wheat beer from Bamberg) and life ain't so bad afterall, all you'd need is a wee dram of Laphroaig Islay single malt whisky to make things perfect..which reminds me, I have some left in the bottle under the sink! :-))

Here are a couple of photos from Saturday 9 January, when I and a couple of comrades walked from South Queensferry to Burntisland, the snow was great, I don't mind it when I'm not in the car, nice purple hat eh? Perhaps we take the Forth Rail and Road Bridges for granted but I wouldn't be without them..

Happy New Year!

It's been a hectic couple of months and another year is almost over, I know I've been more depressing than Morrisey recently so I'll not write how every year goes quicker etc etc. Got the cast off my broken right arm and can even drive again now, so that's good. And the snow! So much last week, first time I'd seen that much since '93. Hope you all had a stunning Xmas and are about to celebrate 2010. Here are a couple of photos because I finally got around to getting a new camera, tried using the cartoon feature so that's why the photos look funny. One shows my parents and younger sister, the other shows the most wonderful day- the wedding of my parents ( I took a photo of the photo you see, I was not there...honest..I had too much of a hangover to attend..) :-).

Broken boned depressive..

Well, a lot has happened since the last update and I apologise for the lack of new photos, will get around to getting a new camera soon. First, I spent two weeks in Glasgow getting training at the network O2, I shall be training new people in due course back in the capital. Also, well, I broke my lower arm and wrist in a fall running for a train last week, those who know me will know my obsession with not missing trains and buses. Think I might change my behaviour because I was in hospital for a couple of days and had an operation under general anaesthetic. Also, the cast I've on is really beginning to annoy me. I stick a plastic bag over it for showering but it makes the hand sweat - at least it's the left..

My planned trip to Germany looks like it will also be delayed as the work are demanding I train O2 trainees! Hellloo, I had this trip planned for weeks..!

Oh well, so ist das Leben, sorry I'm not my witty self, will try to do better in future. Picture shows a great discovery - ham flavoured schnapps! Went down a treat it did!

lovely bison and large lagers

Hello again! I had a good time up in Newtonmore in the Highlands, did lots of walking and even collected mushrooms and won a pub quiz! Afterwards I flew out to the Volksfest in Stuttgart, there I did not touch a drop of beer or schnapps..NOT..and, as we all know, two negatives make a positive! Been back at work for a couple of weeks now, been pretty uneventful but I heard at end of last week that I've to spend this week in Glasgow..in the Weeg!! We'll see how it goes but the chaotic arrangements for this do not fill me with confidence. Oh, I saw Colin the dog and 4 of his pals today, he said to say hello to my blog readers, smart doggie he is..

Thanks to Dr Reddick for arriving with the best medicine for my recent ailments - genuine German Oktoberfest beer! I actually woke up feeling semi-normal after a week or so of feeling bad. So you know what to do if the flu gets you - crack open the beers and start drinking. The aforementioned Reddick even demonstrated-several times- how the medicine should be taken!

Here are a couple of photos from my recent adventures. One is from the Highland Wildlife Park, the other from a Stuttgart beer tent.

Fortnight free!

Yes folks, after tomorrow I am on holiday for 2 weeks!! Am heading up north for a week before heading to Germany for a beer festival for 3 days. Well, I think I deserve some chill time, been a bit too stressed out to be my witty and charming normal self recently ;-) !!

Will have to get a new camera soon, mine has been broken for months now, apologies for not posting stunning new images of myself. I should have gone to Dallas..that is where my future is..I dreamt that last night that Pam and Sue Ellen were fighting it out to be with me, had my fingers crossed for Pam...but then the alarm went off, why does that ALWAYS happen!! Still, no alarms for a couple of weeks! yeee haaa.

Time machine

I always find August a difficult month to write anything, I don't know why, this year it's maybe because I've not been anywhere different or done much (at least nothing I want in the public domain ;-) ). It's been a bog standard non-eventful month, getting up early and going to bed early too, at least I have a couple of weeks off at the end of September. Wish I had a time machine, I was looking at a book about dinosaurs with my nephew earlier on, he asked if I remember them..well, I guess I almost do. Even going back in my time machine a hundred years or so would be great, maybe then I could have been witness to the death of my great-grandfather, who died aged 32 in 1906- I live in the same town, here is the grave. I always tend to get the blues on a Sunday, will be more cheerful once Monday is over!!

Teutonic vandalism and TV resurrection

Well, here I am on a Wednesday, just back from work, sifting through the wreckage of a visit by Clemens. As Winston Churchill almost said "Never in the field of human drinking have so many beers been consumed by so few"..or something like that anyway.

Unfortunately it was not only my liver that Clemens set out to destroy - my trusty digital camera packed in, meaning I could take no photos of our various adventures. The camera on my mobile is pants so the couple of photos of Highland Games Day in Burntisland appear courtesy of Tavis' mobile. Clem also buggered my TV, it doesn't work after I left him to continue boozing because I had to get up early for work. This joins the record player -that has never recovered from Oli's ill-fated Scottish job search- in the German attempt at breaking everything in my flat..

Aaahhhhhhhhh the TV has sprung back into life!! A miracle has occurred! Gott sei dank!

Had a good long walk from Tay Bridge to St Andrews on Saturday, it's about 18 miles but mostly a scenic route, something similar will be attempted this coming weekend too, sometimes just getting out there is good for the mind and soul. More later blog fans!

Inviting..

Invited to the USA for a wedding, to Australia for a barbeque with stunning sheilas, to Kirkcaldy for a piss-up..so what do I do? Choose Kirkcaldy, then decide my village is better so don't go anywhere. What's up?

Who possibly could refuse the big KDY? I must be mad.

Here a photo of my lovely flat, those who know will know..Schönes Wochenende!

Nanny state and strange wetness

How come my hits counter is stuck at 590? It was always nice to know how many people had nothing better to do other than read my weird thoughts and look at photos of me in some pub or other. Well, I'll not disappoint you, one of the photos shows me a couple of weeks ago in the Heidelberg Sonderbar, Clemens and Oli forcing me to drink copious amounts of beer, soon to be followed by some schnapps back at Clemens' place while listening to "So what" by the Anti-Nowhere League, an absolute must for connoisseurs of classic punk seshing.

The government here is always telling us how to live our lives, don't smoke that, don't drink this, blah blah. Increasing the price of booze seems to be their solution, obviously oblivious of the fact that most European countries have cheaper booze than us! If they wish to dictate to us how we should behave, perhaps using the other photo here would be better propaganda for them! I can just see the health-fascists rubbing their hands with glee..yes kids, don't drink to excess or you too will be unable to grow a proper beard, you too would fall unconscious on the gorgeous blue leather sofa of your host..and you too could have suspicious looking stains on your trousers.. That wasn't caused by spilling red wine! Oh the glory of it all!

Retroman

Why is it I live in the past? All my tastes, everything, seems retro. Films?, Music? TV? Don't bother asking because I'm in retro mode, if it ain't old then forget it...Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Bette Davis..better than any modern film star eh?

Why watch or listen to modern stuff when there is old stuff? Isn't the best soap ever Dallas? Kids program? Bagpuss or the Clangers! Music? Well, there are lots of great retro-bands! Sex Pistols! ACDC! Beethoven!Kajagoogoo! Ok, even I draw the line there, they weren't the same after Limahl left..

Have been a good boy this month and have had several booze-free days. Am becoming a bit of a health-freak and it will have to stop. At least the new-found sobriety is stopping my late night DVD shopping sprees! Already I have almost every season of Dallas but what would further boozy nights land me with? Complete boxset DVDs of "Starsky and Hutch"?, Worsel Gummage.. surely not? Oh, lets be honest, it is sure to be "Charlie's Angels", "Dukes (preferably Daisy) of Hazzard" or "Wonder Woman". Oh, come on, I was more interested in the stories rather than the scenery as a child back then!

Off to Germany again on Friday! Yes! Stuttgart spring festival! So predictable!

Topless stunner!

Calm down, it's only me!

Have been to Portugal for a week and it was really nice. We stayed in Albufeira in the Algarve but also took day trips to Lisbon and to the eastern Algarve and into Spain. It's good at this time of year because the weather, although very warm, is bearable and the resorts are not overcrowded with thousands of tourists. Oh, the fun we had on the beach, in the bars..and, well, doing cultural things. I'm not some kind of uncouth lager lout you know..I like other drinks too!

The photos shows me trying to avoid skin cancer on the beach with a can of Sagres beer in my hand and a gorgeous hat on my head. The other shows my hotel bedroom toilet, it was warm in there so luckily the hotel provided a beer chilling facility. The other two show me trying to get off with a sexy tree, and my German biographer who plied me with drinks to get juicy titbits for her upcoming bestseller..

Stiff

I'm stiff. Stop it, I mean my legs! Have been walking all afternoon from Kinghorn to Inverkeithing along the stunning Fife coast. With me was my pal Colin the dog, without doubt the most outgoing and charismatic friend that I have. Came home after dropping Colin off and am now relaxing with a glass or two of Shiraz in my Kinghorn bunker. Thoughts of going out on a Saturday night are not often in my thoughts these days, either it's the global recession or I'm an ancient old shit..or maybe both.

Here are two photos from my recent walking adventures with doggie.

Prehistoric

It only seems like yesterday since the last one but another birthday lies in store tomorrow. Obviously those who know me know that I'm very relaxed about the aging process and have no issues at all....heeeeeeelllp!! Am getting old so I am!! I'll be a cantankerous old git in a couple of years, droning on about the youth of today etc etc. Hope I get a walking stick, some hair dye, and incontinence pads for presents. Oh well, I've a trip to Portugal in March to look forward to - if I live that long.

Is there such a thing as an age councillor, helping those with a youthful view of themselves come to terms with the wrinkly truth? I might need one in about 15 years or so....

Photo captures a rare moment in history, me buying Tavis a round in the local pub. Well, I felt sorry for him after putting him to the sword at pool.

Wooooooooof

Two updates today! Well, had to let you know about my Christmas companion Colin! Yes, I'm looking after Colin the dog for the next week or so and have, as the picture shows, been making sure he's comfortable!

Frohes Fest!

Hello again! Sorry about not updating for a while, have been away to Heidelberg and Stuttgart yet again, this time for the traditional Glühwein drinking and joyous yuletide festivities. The Kapsmeister and I certainly got into the festive spirit with a Christmas Market session that is sure to attain legendary status. Woke up next day with a poster of Laurel and Hardy, candles, bottles, a plant, and the remains of a half eaten pizza littering the flat. My memory however was nowhere to be found..well, it's Xmas isn't it? Have a good one blog fans!

Here are a couple of photos from my trip. One shows Fräulein Kaps leading me astray at the Christmas Market, the other two are from a Heidelberg whisky tasting evening in the Sonderbar. Clemens, Oli and Rudi appear. Clemens had brought along a nice bottle of Bamberg smoked beer as a present, unfortunately, after the whiskies, he forgot to give it to me. He did write me an e-mail saying it tasted good though. Nice.

me, bear, surrounded by birds

No, I'm not entering the realms of fantasy, the picture proves it! The other photo, also taken on the West Highland Way is of Loch Tulla near Bridge of Orchy, a rare interlude when it wasn't raining.

90th anniversary of end of World War One today, as the last British survivor who saw action in the trenches said when interviewed on the news, "remember the Germans as well as our own", the tragedy is that we remember those lost, they don't.

Dinne fash, I'm back!

Hi there!

Yes, I know it's been a while, what happened to the full report of the conquering of the West Highland Way etc etc? Well, I've been busy recovering and playing host to Fräulein Kaps (Seltsam, Ich scheine mich daran zu erinnern daß die Kathedrale auf der anderen Seite des Platzes war*) and only now can I report to my readers.

The WHW was very good, the weather was totally crap most days but I guess you don't go to the highlands of Scotland in October if you're looking to top up your tan! It took Tavis and me 7 walking days to finish the walk, starting on a Saturday and finishing on the Friday, the worst experiences being the snoring of the aforementioned Tavis, his incredible talent to walk as quickly as an octogenarian, his annoying ability to drink tea in pubs when the very best whiskies and beers were on offer, and the incredibly bad conditions that turned the path into a river for long sections.. oh come on, your snoring is a total disgrace Tavis!!

Photos show me at start and, suffering from lack of sleep, at finish of the West Highland Way adventure.

* famous quote from "where eagles dare" in German, oh it's a long story..

awa to the highlands!

Here I am again, the day before I set off on my walk from Glasgow to Fort William along the West Highland Way. Long term blog fans will know I've been in this situation before (see Oct 06). This time I am just as unprepared as then, god knows what I'll take, well blister treatments and brandy (medicinal you see) seem like a good idea. Will try to take more photos this time and will tell you all the steamy, bodice-ripping, saga upon my return! God, a whole week of listening to Tavis' conspiracy theories...don't know if my ears or feet will hurt more.

The photo shows me in Budapest slapping an incredibly huge salami! Huh, I hardly needed to travel to Hungary to do that, should have stayed at home..!!

Me with an amazing bust.

Am back from my holiday to Germany and Budapest, it's bloody typical that I've been healthy all year then get the flu as soon as I step on board a plane! Still, I'm not the complaining type...and still managed to have a good time. Here is a photo of me and the bust of mass murderer Josef Stalin..i've always liked busts!!..the other photo shows the gorgeousness of Budapest.

Not long now until Tavis and I take on the West Highland Way, it's going to be a blistering extravagansa to be sure! More later blog fans!

Late bunny

Yes, I've been a lazy sod and haven't updated for a while, my apologies to my legions of readers!

Alas, news reached me that the stunning bunny Fritz has departed to the great rabbit hutch in the sky, flowers everywhere can rest easy now that the long-eared stunner is instead pushing up the daisies instead of munching them. The photo captures him in top flower-destroying form. RIP.

Been trying to keep fit for the West Highland Way that I'm doing in October so have done a couple of long walks recently. Last Saturday I caught bus to Crail and walked the glorious and lonely 15 miles or so to St Andrews. Today I was in Edinburgh filming, and also taking part in, a body pump class. It's a long story that has dragged on for months. Hopefully this time we got it right!

Not long now until I head to Germany (yes, sooo predictable) and Hungary. Bis zum nächsten Mal!

PS Jochen left work to head to Munich, he was devastated to leave after 10 happy years working next to me. The photo shows him with tears in his eyes, wondering how he will cope without my wisdom and guidance.

Regina and Deadly

Hello again blog fans! What has happened since last time? Well, Regina and "deadly" Dieter (named because of his legendary drinking prowess) came to Scotland for the first time and demanded I show them the pubs of Edinburgh- and buy most of the rounds...it's a hard life but someones got to do it! We had a good time on two consecutive Saturdays- they toured the country between our Edinburgh pub tours. Here are two photos of them on both nights. The deadly one had a lucky escape from an irate lady demanding he stop urinating on her plants but otherwise things went swimmingly. The other photo is me at work, looking stunningly blue and happy...happy at work? Who says the camera never lies?

So predictable..

July is probably my favourite month but really I've just not been feeling 100% since my return from Germany on Tuesday, yes! I've been over to Heidelberg and Stuttgart again and the weather was perfect. Even had the honour of witnessing Germany lose a Euro final while on German soil- the first time this happened was 1992 when the Danes won and I celebrated in someone's Heidelberg living room surrounded by depressed members of the teutonic fanclub. It's like an endless groundhog day.

Anyway, am back in the work routine and at least it's Friday. Not got many plans other than sleeping lots this weekend, with whom has yet to be decided..oh the wit.. here a couple of photos, of what I don't know, not decided yet. Well one is of me, the other is of elite members of the Heidelberg Betrunkenheit Abteilung (Olli and Clemens).

Auf Wiedersehen schon wieder!

Am off from work for a few days now and am doing the usual, yes am off to Germany for a long weekend in Heidelberg and Stuttgart. I'm just so predictable am I not?

Walked the coast from Crail to Elie with Tavis in Saturday, here are a couple of photos..including one of Tavis standing on a street named in honour of him!!

PS The harbour behind me is in Cellardyke, where a dead swan was found a while back with deadly bird flu- confirming the disease had reached Britain..yeah, I knew you'd be interested..

Three score and ten

June already, obviously you're now expecting me to say every year goes quicker blah blah, but I won't because I'm still stunning and young..my mother isn't though! She celebrated her 70th birthday during the week (yes, she had me when she was 45!!) and we all went out for a meal to celebrate. What else have I been up to? Well, I was starring in a video yesterday, stop it!.. a fitness video for someone wanting to be a body pump instructor, not too good at walking today..