Happy New Year!

It's been a hectic couple of months and another year is almost over, I know I've been more depressing than Morrisey recently so I'll not write how every year goes quicker etc etc. Got the cast off my broken right arm and can even drive again now, so that's good. And the snow! So much last week, first time I'd seen that much since '93. Hope you all had a stunning Xmas and are about to celebrate 2010. Here are a couple of photos because I finally got around to getting a new camera, tried using the cartoon feature so that's why the photos look funny. One shows my parents and younger sister, the other shows the most wonderful day- the wedding of my parents ( I took a photo of the photo you see, I was not there...honest..I had too much of a hangover to attend..) :-).

Broken boned depressive..

Well, a lot has happened since the last update and I apologise for the lack of new photos, will get around to getting a new camera soon. First, I spent two weeks in Glasgow getting training at the network O2, I shall be training new people in due course back in the capital. Also, well, I broke my lower arm and wrist in a fall running for a train last week, those who know me will know my obsession with not missing trains and buses. Think I might change my behaviour because I was in hospital for a couple of days and had an operation under general anaesthetic. Also, the cast I've on is really beginning to annoy me. I stick a plastic bag over it for showering but it makes the hand sweat - at least it's the left..

My planned trip to Germany looks like it will also be delayed as the work are demanding I train O2 trainees! Hellloo, I had this trip planned for weeks..!

Oh well, so ist das Leben, sorry I'm not my witty self, will try to do better in future. Picture shows a great discovery - ham flavoured schnapps! Went down a treat it did!

lovely bison and large lagers

Hello again! I had a good time up in Newtonmore in the Highlands, did lots of walking and even collected mushrooms and won a pub quiz! Afterwards I flew out to the Volksfest in Stuttgart, there I did not touch a drop of beer or schnapps..NOT..and, as we all know, two negatives make a positive! Been back at work for a couple of weeks now, been pretty uneventful but I heard at end of last week that I've to spend this week in Glasgow..in the Weeg!! We'll see how it goes but the chaotic arrangements for this do not fill me with confidence. Oh, I saw Colin the dog and 4 of his pals today, he said to say hello to my blog readers, smart doggie he is..

Thanks to Dr Reddick for arriving with the best medicine for my recent ailments - genuine German Oktoberfest beer! I actually woke up feeling semi-normal after a week or so of feeling bad. So you know what to do if the flu gets you - crack open the beers and start drinking. The aforementioned Reddick even demonstrated-several times- how the medicine should be taken!

Here are a couple of photos from my recent adventures. One is from the Highland Wildlife Park, the other from a Stuttgart beer tent.

Fortnight free!

Yes folks, after tomorrow I am on holiday for 2 weeks!! Am heading up north for a week before heading to Germany for a beer festival for 3 days. Well, I think I deserve some chill time, been a bit too stressed out to be my witty and charming normal self recently ;-) !!

Will have to get a new camera soon, mine has been broken for months now, apologies for not posting stunning new images of myself. I should have gone to Dallas..that is where my future is..I dreamt that last night that Pam and Sue Ellen were fighting it out to be with me, had my fingers crossed for Pam...but then the alarm went off, why does that ALWAYS happen!! Still, no alarms for a couple of weeks! yeee haaa.

Time machine

I always find August a difficult month to write anything, I don't know why, this year it's maybe because I've not been anywhere different or done much (at least nothing I want in the public domain ;-) ). It's been a bog standard non-eventful month, getting up early and going to bed early too, at least I have a couple of weeks off at the end of September. Wish I had a time machine, I was looking at a book about dinosaurs with my nephew earlier on, he asked if I remember them..well, I guess I almost do. Even going back in my time machine a hundred years or so would be great, maybe then I could have been witness to the death of my great-grandfather, who died aged 32 in 1906- I live in the same town, here is the grave. I always tend to get the blues on a Sunday, will be more cheerful once Monday is over!!

Teutonic vandalism and TV resurrection

Well, here I am on a Wednesday, just back from work, sifting through the wreckage of a visit by Clemens. As Winston Churchill almost said "Never in the field of human drinking have so many beers been consumed by so few"..or something like that anyway.

Unfortunately it was not only my liver that Clemens set out to destroy - my trusty digital camera packed in, meaning I could take no photos of our various adventures. The camera on my mobile is pants so the couple of photos of Highland Games Day in Burntisland appear courtesy of Tavis' mobile. Clem also buggered my TV, it doesn't work after I left him to continue boozing because I had to get up early for work. This joins the record player -that has never recovered from Oli's ill-fated Scottish job search- in the German attempt at breaking everything in my flat..

Aaahhhhhhhhh the TV has sprung back into life!! A miracle has occurred! Gott sei dank!

Had a good long walk from Tay Bridge to St Andrews on Saturday, it's about 18 miles but mostly a scenic route, something similar will be attempted this coming weekend too, sometimes just getting out there is good for the mind and soul. More later blog fans!

Inviting..

Invited to the USA for a wedding, to Australia for a barbeque with stunning sheilas, to Kirkcaldy for a piss-up..so what do I do? Choose Kirkcaldy, then decide my village is better so don't go anywhere. What's up?

Who possibly could refuse the big KDY? I must be mad.

Here a photo of my lovely flat, those who know will know..Schönes Wochenende!

Nanny state and strange wetness

How come my hits counter is stuck at 590? It was always nice to know how many people had nothing better to do other than read my weird thoughts and look at photos of me in some pub or other. Well, I'll not disappoint you, one of the photos shows me a couple of weeks ago in the Heidelberg Sonderbar, Clemens and Oli forcing me to drink copious amounts of beer, soon to be followed by some schnapps back at Clemens' place while listening to "So what" by the Anti-Nowhere League, an absolute must for connoisseurs of classic punk seshing.

The government here is always telling us how to live our lives, don't smoke that, don't drink this, blah blah. Increasing the price of booze seems to be their solution, obviously oblivious of the fact that most European countries have cheaper booze than us! If they wish to dictate to us how we should behave, perhaps using the other photo here would be better propaganda for them! I can just see the health-fascists rubbing their hands with glee..yes kids, don't drink to excess or you too will be unable to grow a proper beard, you too would fall unconscious on the gorgeous blue leather sofa of your host..and you too could have suspicious looking stains on your trousers.. That wasn't caused by spilling red wine! Oh the glory of it all!

Retroman

Why is it I live in the past? All my tastes, everything, seems retro. Films?, Music? TV? Don't bother asking because I'm in retro mode, if it ain't old then forget it...Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Bette Davis..better than any modern film star eh?

Why watch or listen to modern stuff when there is old stuff? Isn't the best soap ever Dallas? Kids program? Bagpuss or the Clangers! Music? Well, there are lots of great retro-bands! Sex Pistols! ACDC! Beethoven!Kajagoogoo! Ok, even I draw the line there, they weren't the same after Limahl left..

Have been a good boy this month and have had several booze-free days. Am becoming a bit of a health-freak and it will have to stop. At least the new-found sobriety is stopping my late night DVD shopping sprees! Already I have almost every season of Dallas but what would further boozy nights land me with? Complete boxset DVDs of "Starsky and Hutch"?, Worsel Gummage.. surely not? Oh, lets be honest, it is sure to be "Charlie's Angels", "Dukes (preferably Daisy) of Hazzard" or "Wonder Woman". Oh, come on, I was more interested in the stories rather than the scenery as a child back then!

Off to Germany again on Friday! Yes! Stuttgart spring festival! So predictable!

Topless stunner!

Calm down, it's only me!

Have been to Portugal for a week and it was really nice. We stayed in Albufeira in the Algarve but also took day trips to Lisbon and to the eastern Algarve and into Spain. It's good at this time of year because the weather, although very warm, is bearable and the resorts are not overcrowded with thousands of tourists. Oh, the fun we had on the beach, in the bars..and, well, doing cultural things. I'm not some kind of uncouth lager lout you know..I like other drinks too!

The photos shows me trying to avoid skin cancer on the beach with a can of Sagres beer in my hand and a gorgeous hat on my head. The other shows my hotel bedroom toilet, it was warm in there so luckily the hotel provided a beer chilling facility. The other two show me trying to get off with a sexy tree, and my German biographer who plied me with drinks to get juicy titbits for her upcoming bestseller..

Stiff

I'm stiff. Stop it, I mean my legs! Have been walking all afternoon from Kinghorn to Inverkeithing along the stunning Fife coast. With me was my pal Colin the dog, without doubt the most outgoing and charismatic friend that I have. Came home after dropping Colin off and am now relaxing with a glass or two of Shiraz in my Kinghorn bunker. Thoughts of going out on a Saturday night are not often in my thoughts these days, either it's the global recession or I'm an ancient old shit..or maybe both.

Here are two photos from my recent walking adventures with doggie.

Prehistoric

It only seems like yesterday since the last one but another birthday lies in store tomorrow. Obviously those who know me know that I'm very relaxed about the aging process and have no issues at all....heeeeeeelllp!! Am getting old so I am!! I'll be a cantankerous old git in a couple of years, droning on about the youth of today etc etc. Hope I get a walking stick, some hair dye, and incontinence pads for presents. Oh well, I've a trip to Portugal in March to look forward to - if I live that long.

Is there such a thing as an age councillor, helping those with a youthful view of themselves come to terms with the wrinkly truth? I might need one in about 15 years or so....

Photo captures a rare moment in history, me buying Tavis a round in the local pub. Well, I felt sorry for him after putting him to the sword at pool.