Alan's world

Armless fun

2012-01-31T16:20:00.002Z

Hi Blog people!

Well, that's January almost done and dusted then, not the greatest month ever but ok. Worst part was having a knackered arm for about 10 days, no cause (and you can stop thinking that right now..), just woke up one morning and could hardly move right arm. Was painful so went to Doc, had x-ray etc. Just took a call from Doctor's surgery, he wants to see me about x-ray, appointment in 4 weeks! Oh how wonderful our health service is. Other than that I've just been going to my morphsuit heaven during the week and chilling in the local pubs from time to time. Was my birthday on Sunday so had a couple of meals out over the weekend. Sorry about lack of bodice-ripping excitement but now the arm is getting slightly better I can start having some swashbuckling adventures.

Happy New Year!

2011-12-28T17:16:00.003Z

It is getting seriously scary that the year goes so quick! At least there is no ice and snow this time, not yet anyway. Have these days off, was at work last Thursday when they told us just to take time off until 4 January, not bad. First time I've had every day off between Christmas and new year for as long as I can remember. Not that I've been doing much, the wind and rain has curtailed my walking, though did spend Xmas day at younger sisters and Boxing Day at my older sisters - both great meals too!

Walked to Leven, a four hour walk about 3 weeks ago, also had a nice festive meal at the Hawes Inn in South Queensferry - directly under the Forth Bridge. Had an interview at Fife Council but, being public sector, the odds were against me as I had no relations already working for them, no big deal anyway.

No big plans for new year, though I'll not venture far from home due to the lack of public transport. Plan a trip to Edinburgh on Friday, found a wee shop selling the rarest German beer, a must for a connoisseur like me :-) Have a good one people!!

Her a couple of recent pics, one featuring me in an East German top! Oh the controversy!

All change

2011-11-28T19:46:00.004Z

November is usually a pretty mundane month, you just want it over so the Christmas festivities can begin, though it was a busy month for me to be sure. Had a couple of interviews and landed myself a job at Morphsuits, those all body Lycra suits that are seemingly becoming popular, though I haven't tried one on yet! Was also at another interview on Friday, and there may be another in the pipeline. I'm sure I'll have more info in the next update.

New car is running fine now that the problem with the wheels deflating has been solved, makes a change driving about 4 miles to work, was a 50 mile round trip before. What else have I been up to? Well, went to bonfire night in Burntisland on 5 November and have done a couple of long walks along the coast recently. Plan another on Wednesday as I have another day off then. Also went to Edinburgh by train a couple of times, the last visit was on Saturday and included a visit to the German Market there, the warm mulled beer was tasty but expensive..though not as expensive as the couple of malt whiskies I bought..and of course, mulled wine is a must. It keeps the cold away in these long winter nights. Here are a couple of photos.

Wendepunkt

2011-11-01T18:45:00.004Z

I hate it when I forget to update every month, even if I've nothing to say, which can't be said of October! I went up north for a week of relaxation in Gardenstown near Banff, was good to be in an area I had hardly seen before. The majority may be strictly religious but that didn't spoil my fun - unless you count the only pub in town being closed on a Tuesday, for god knows what reason. Visited the Glenfarclas distillery and various coastal towns, was nice.

After my trip I spent the last 3 weeks at my workplace in Edinburgh, most magnificently, my erstwhile employers grudgingly agreed to pay to those of us being made redundant, the legal minimum - a most marvelous "thank you" for 13 years service, but I guess that's how American-owned companies operate.

What else? Well, I went on a spooky walk here in Kinghorn in aid of the local lifeboat station - was very well done, I almost crapped myself when a ghoul got out of a "grave" in the churchyard!

Been to gym today, must keep active or this job interlude could make me a slob!

Germanic induced amnesia?

2011-09-30T17:32:00.004+01:00

Hello people! Bet you'd thought I'd forgotten this month's thrilling update? No! Though It wouldn't have been a surprise after the very recent visit of Clemens. Yes, just a few weeks after Oliver, Clemens arrived, armed with a litre bottle of Glenlivet 15 year old malt whisky. Of course, the bottle was on death row with us-and Tavis- about! But at least it didn't have to wait long to go. Apart from that bottle, several pints were downed in Kirkcaldy, Kinghorn, Burntisland, Aberdour....you get the picture. Still, what are holidays for apart from enjoying yourself? Going for a few days up the highlands tomorrow actually - fresh air, walking, thinking, chilling, yeah ok, drinking. Will take my mind off the upcoming turmoil in my working life. We have been given an end date at the firm of 28 October, so only a few weeks until my 13 year service at America's finest (note the sarcasm) company comes to the end!!

Here a couple of photos - of Clemens and Tavis in top drinking form, of a group of lovely seals here in the Firth of Forth, and of Arja my colleague, who has already left the sinking ship and had her last day last week, with yours truly (was mucking about with the effects on that one, couldn't make myself pretty though..). Bis zum nächsten Mal!!

Teutonic visitation

2011-08-26T22:15:00.005+01:00

I had written a long entry only for it to disappear forever for no reason, my patience is running thin with this thing, as this has happened before. In a nutshell: Have been told I'm being made redundant by our most admirable director, have had German visitors - Oliver and Joe - and have been up the highlands to Glencoe and Kinlochleven with them. Did a lot of walking! Here a few photos of the last few weeks..one shows Oliver lost in his own thoughts as he walks the sands of Fife, then another of him under the Forth rail bridge after successfully buying the round. The other photos show BP walking the same stretch a week or so before while tide was in, also a view of Loch Leven in the highlands by Kinlochleven.

Bye bye July

2011-07-29T14:46:00.003+01:00

Have been off work these last couple of days- ironically getting fever and man flu just as the weather turned gorgeous. Even now, as I write this, the sun is beating down, surely it cannot last! Last weekend I ended up in St Andrews, perhaps the most famous town in my glorious kingdom of Fife - no sign of William and Kate this time though.

Two of my nephews had birthdays recently, a couple of days ago I was invaded by three of them, they proceeded to delve into every nook and cranny of my most stunning dwelling - one of them shrieking "Uncle Alan is a Nazi!" after finding a book about the Gestapo in my wide-ranging library of English and German literature. I'm just glad he didn't find my "Virgins of Sherwood" DVD (..that Tavis lent me..), never has there been such an inappropriately named film. I mean there weren't any..

Here a couple of St Andrews photos, and one of the nephews.

Greyfriars spaceman

2011-07-11T12:07:00.002+01:00

Went by train to Edinburgh this weekend, weather seemed nice so why not I thought. Unfortunately the heavens opened when I got there, but I sought refuge in the National Museum of Scotland, a huge place that would take days to fully look around, there I posed as an astronaut, quite realistic eh..?

Also looked around Greyfriars churchyard, the story of Greyfriars Bobby is internationally known, a story of loyalty even after death. The wee doggie even has his own gravestone where once he stood guard at his master's grave, there's even a statue outside of a pub named in his honour.

Have today, Monday, off. Am just chilling at home but will head off along the coast in a short while, July is my favourite month but unfortunately I have no more holidays until end of August when my old Heidelberg pal Oliver arrives for a week or so. Best start hiding my best malt whiskies because otherwise they won't last long!

A wee trip up north

2011-06-25T21:15:00.002+01:00

I decided to take a few days off from the rat race, so where better to go than the highlands? Went up to Newtonmore, spent night visiting the local pubs. Today I visited the Highland Wildlife Park, a quite excellent place, afterward a visit to the Dalwhinnie distillery and a drive south was undertaken. My bloody car has decided to almost give up on me, any uphill stretch was almost impossible for my old rust bucket. I guess an expensive future awaits. Here a couple of photos.

Factor 50

2011-05-19T19:46:00.004+01:00

Hello again! It was nice to have a couple of weeks off so that I could travel to Europe to soak up the sun and drink lots of continental beer - and I certainly did that! Luckily I remembered to slap on the factor 50 suncream because I go lobster red, not brown. There is always a place I miss though, this time my ears, so they were bright red for a couple of days. I tended to keep mostly in the shade though, in a beer tent for example.

Back in the swing of things now though and have given my liver a holiday these last few days too! Friday tomorrow and a trip to Scotlands' Monte Carlo (Kirkcaldy) beckons, so the liver holiday looks like drawing to a close..

Here a few photos from my adventures: Me in typical pose, one of the scariest roads I've ever driven, a massive big wheel and the stunning remains of a Roman theatre built 2000 years ago (can't remember the name of the place exactly), very thought-provoking...something that is way older than me..

Treedog pie

2011-04-19T21:09:00.006+01:00

Past the middle of April already, not long now until, at last, I have a few days off - and another trip to Europe. Something to do with a Spring Festival I hear you ask? Beer tents, lederhosen and steins of teutonic ale? Oh, you know me so well! Maybe even a bit of sunshine too, though I have to say the last few days have been quite nice here in the glorious Kingdom of Fife.

Have been trying to make the most of weekends though I haven't done any really massive walks in recent times - even though I have invested in a new waterproof jacket (a gorgeous red one) and walking boots and shoes. Now the weather is better I'll be trying to make more use of them, must prepare in case of another highland adventure later in the year.

Here are a few photos, one shows a most delicious steak pie that I ate in the Inchview Hotel in Burntisland (a place I spent a lot of time in when younger!), the other is of the stunning tree that those of long memory might remember me blogging about, a cowboy builder still attempting to ruin the area.

Oh, and I must not forget my facebook buddy Dexter, we went walkies along to Aberdour a couple of weeks back and the daft thing liked nothing better than going swimming at Silver Sands, almost not making it back to shore at one point. Maybe he thought I'd jump in to save him....well, of course.. :-)

Bridge junkie?

2011-03-16T20:15:00.004Z

I seem to spend a lot of my time taking pictures either 1. in pubs, with me or my victims grinning inanely 2. Of the coast or 3. Of the Forth bridges. Surely my wonderful life has more to offer but alas I often forget my trusty camera, and believe me, there are some photos you really don't want to see!

I can complain about this or that of course but the events in Japan remind me that in reality I've not a lot to complain about, I guess you shouldn't put off to tomorrow what you could do today, after-all who knows what is round the corner?

Booked a flight to Germany for May, so I'll be away at the spring festival down Stuttgart/Heidelberg way, maintaining a tradition of many years. It's always nice to have something to look forward to in these late winter weeks...not even seen a daffodil yet!

Here are couple of photos of coast, of bridge, and of a most stunning seal! I apologise for the lack of embarrassing pub photos this time! I'll make it up to you..

Apartheid lite

2011-02-18T18:37:00.007Z

February, well it's been better than January, not that I've been stripping down to my speedos and going surfing down the beach. Had a nice birthday meal with the family in the Ship in Kinghorn, one of my better ideas. Apart from chronic constipation, which meant I saved money on toilet paper, things have been just fine and dandy.

Went to Belfast last week, weather was great, walked the streets of west, south and central Belfast in glorious conditions. Part of the scenery of Belfast, especially in working class areas, are the political murals, fascinating to visitors who can barely imagine neighbourhoods divided on religious lines, they nonetheless signify a clear cultural division in society. Perhaps sending children of all faiths to the same schools? It Would save money too! Enough politics, here are a couple of recent photos, one from the republican Falls Road, the other from the loyalist Sandy Row area, the other is of Queens University in South Belfast.

Haggis night?

2011-01-25T18:17:00.003Z

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

As this is Robert Burns' night in the wonderful fairytale land of the Scots, I should be tucking into Haggis, neeps and tatties right now, but I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I like the minced up inner organs of a sheep, served in a sheep's stomach, as much as the next man, it's just not on the menu tonight.

Well this month is never my favourite, just been going to work and chilling at weekends, no massive long walks have been undertaken and nothing much of note has happened - unless you count the ongoing war between my seagull-obsessed neighbours and myself. It's a bloody joke that the old age mafia leave mountains of food out on a table when there are rats about, but , hey, I'm an easy going guy and am extremely patient....

No new photos taken recently my blog friends, I promise to do better from now on, here a couple from the archive.. a nice one of Seafield Tower just along the coast from me, and the cutest Maltese cat ever.

My birthday on Saturday, please don't spend too much on presents, see you all in the Auld Hoose?

Happy New Year!

2010-12-29T16:17:00.003Z

I know it's traditional for me to say the year went quick, it did. In fact every year recently has seemed quick, isn't it funny how your perception of time and age change as the years go by? I can clearly remember thinking a friend of mine was ancient because he was about to turn 29! Don't think I'd think that now! Anyway, enough of my obsession with staying youthful, hope you've had a nice Xmas.

Talking of youthful, had an Australian relative visitor at Christmas and things went well, I remember her mum visiting a few years ago -well 1986 actually- here I go again!

Here a couple of photos, one shows my home town Burntisland covered in snow, the other of our down under damsel.

Winter wonderland

2010-12-02T11:52:00.003Z

The snow has been here for a few days now, haven't made it in to work since Monday. The trains seem not to be running and even the Forth Road Bridge was closed. So much for global warming eh?

Here are a couple of photos I took yesterday.

What better to warm up with than an Austrian Samichlaus beer? Brewed only on 6 December each year, it packs a powerful 14% punch! Prost!

Stalingrad

2010-11-29T19:08:00.003Z

Getting to work today was like the advance to Stalingrad, I tried with the car, but the roads hadn't been gritted and a disaster was sure to happen, so back I came to Kinghorn, and just in time for the 6.30am train to South Gyle. The walk in from there took longer than usual due to the amount of snow but I arrived at my glorious workplace with only a sore back to complain about (this has been playing up since Saturday). A completely non-eventful day ensued that you don't want to hear about..

Amazing that it's already about 4 weeks since my West Highland Way adventure, the first 3 days were in sunshine! The later 4 were in almost constant rain, apart from a diversion for the last 5 miles, everything went very well, that's now 3 times I've completed it and that tells it's own story. Will have to buy boots, waterproof trousers, and a totally waterproof jacket before attempting other adventures however, have had my fill of almost freezing to death on the hills.

Here are a couple of photos. My next trip is, of course, to the xmas markets in Heidelberg and Stuttgart, can only hope that the snow goes away because the airport has been closed for most of today!

Trees and walk

2010-10-21T17:19:00.005+01:00

Having heard the good news that the appeal of the evil builder to kill the tree I grew up opposite was thrown out, I got on a plane and flew over to Stuttgart. Over there the people were on the streets, and in the parks, protesting against Stuttgart 21, a scheme to create a quite unnecessary underground main station, obliterating the beautiful park and killing loads of ancient trees in the process. Hmmm seems a theme is developing..

Here are a few photos of the park and trees, all of which may be gone when I return there - already a large number have been felled, protesters held back by police water cannon.

Now I've been back a couple of weeks, this is Thursday, and on Saturday I'm off again on the West Highland Way - I have never been so unprepared! Also, was ill for two days this week and now seem to have injured my back! Oh well, so be it, I'm off to start the walk from Glasgow to Fort William in any case, am sure a few drams or two of highland malt will dull the pain.

Will let you know later how I got on! The other photo is in a beer tent at the Volksfest, I don't think any of those pictured remembers it being taken..

Stunning cygnets

2010-09-26T20:20:00.003+01:00

So that's almost September over, a month that has dragged a bit as I was feeling less than 100% for some of it - cue the violins - but now there is just a week to go until my trip to the Stuttgart Volksfest. Will be heading to the beer tents for beer, food, music, beer, schnapps, oh and a bit more beer! I might have the courage to go on a roller coaster or two as well after a stein or two of the local brew.

Walked down the Union Canal to Edinburgh city centre on Friday, a nice wee walk with a variety of ducks and swans to see. Yesterday I took a drive to the Hermitage forest and waterfall up in Perthshire, was a nice day. Even had a couple of nice pub meals so the weekend went well. Sunday blues have started to kick in now though, another 5am alarm call tomorrow! Plans for the West Highland Way are taking shape , the first 3 nights accommodation booked, come on October lets be having you.

Here are a couple of recent photos.

Lovely day

2010-08-30T17:18:00.002+01:00

August has gone predictably quickly, already my thoughts are on October and another West Highland Way adventure. Yes people, I'm doing it again! Not had any work-free weekdays since last update so any adventures were limited to weekends. Went walking a few times, including a Crail to St Andrews extravaganza that was blessed by good weather, nothing compared to today though which has been brilliant, sun has been shining all day and I, because I treated myself to a holiday today, walked out to Black Rock and on to Aberdour. Had to make the most of it because there will be constant rain and wind before long. Here are photos of the gorgeous beach and Arthur's Seat over in Edinburgh.

Totally stiff

2010-07-25T12:22:00.003+01:00

Hello again! I've always liked July, there's Wimbledon, the British Open golf and, this year, the World Cup. But now that's all history and it's time to get off the sofa and stop being lazy!

In the last couple of weeks I've embarked on a couple of long walks, first one from here to Hillend (there just happens to be a nice pub there) and yesterday, a monster trek from here to Dalmeny, with brief stops in local watering holes in Aberdour, Inverkeithing, North Queensferry and South Queensferry along the way. Then it was on to Edinburgh by train for an hour or two -attending a colleague's leaving do-before returning back here.

I guess Tavis and I must have covered about 20 miles in total and my legs feel it today!!Taking it easy today, not leaving the flat, not for anything.. will have to raise my fitness levels for my autumn walking extravaganza in the highlands. Plans are yet to be finalized but I'll keep you updated. Fancy coming along??

Here are a couple of random photos from the archive, unfortunately I forgot to take camera with me yesterday! One is a rare one of me with the cast on the broken arm, taken in Stuttgart, the other from a Portugese beach, oh how I'd like to be there now..though the hat is fashion suicide!

Schönes Flugzeug

2010-06-30T17:27:00.004+01:00

Well it's almost the end of another month and summer seems well under way, surely this good weather can't last though can it?

Have been over in Germany since the last update - flew to Leipzig (the city of my relative youth) and spent time in Landsberg near Halle at a birthday celebration. Also found time to go to Berlin for the air show at Schönefeld airport. Have to admit that the planes there were impressive-both old and new- and it was a surprise to see a Messerschmitt 262, the first operational jet fighter, still flying.

Since my return I've been glued to the TV watching the world cup and Wimbledon, well it's a summer tradition isn't it? Plus it gives one a good excuse to crack open the beers early doors - am enjoying a Westmalle trappist ale as I write this, having ordered it in via an excellent beer website.

Some things never change though - the English media saying England are really great, that the world cup is theirs for the taking, and then disaster...so predictable. Still, us Scottish never revel in the misfortune of our friends down south, though my English neighbours next door did not take kindly to me flying a German flag from my window. Of course, I was just showing my support for my favourite foreign football team, and was not a personal attack on my lovely pigeon-feeding sassenach neighbours homeland :-p.

Photo shows an Me 262, the Kaps family boozers, and me after a refreshment or two during the trip.

Burnt fizzog

2010-05-30T17:47:00.007+01:00

Hello again, been back at work for some weeks now, was nice to get away for a couple of weeks however. Spent a few days in Germany with a week in Malta in between.

Caught some sunshine in Malta as one of these photos show! Actually that one was taken on a boat (now converted into a pub/restaurant) allegedly once owned by Errol Flynn - hence the pictures of him on the side of the boat behind me. Another hell-raiser with a Malta connection is Oliver Reed, who died after a heavy session in the pub I am pictured staggering out of! The other photo is of the Maltese capital Valletta, taken from the ferry.

Just another week or so before my next trip abroad, this time to eastern Germany. Hope the volcanic ash doesn't return to scupper my plans. Will be over there when the world cup starts, another excuse to head to the beergardens, not that I need one!

Monstrous carbuncle

2010-04-25T14:59:00.003+01:00

Well, I'm off for the next couple of weeks and am due to fly to the usual place in Europe tomorrow, we'll see if the aftermath of the volcanic ash scuppers my plans. Anyway, I'm not getting the Sunday blues today and I'm well relaxed, watching the snooker and even ironing a couple of t-shirts I'm planning to take abroad. I always travel light so you'll not want to be seated next to me on the return flight, it's OK when I travel out, the clothes are clean then..

Not been on any long distance monster walks these last 3 weeks or so, but did walk along to Kirkcaldy a couple of times, one of the photos shows the most horrible architectural monstrosity on the promenade. How buildings like this were given planning permission I'll never know. Other photo shows nephews who came here on Thursday night. The eldest said he wanted to go to America, his mother replied "even your uncle Alan hasn't been there" to which the nephew replied "yeah, he's always going to Germany, that's why." He's right, am off tomorrow again.

Ancient tree

2010-04-01T17:25:00.005+01:00

I just can't believe I forgot to update in March, I know many of you were eagerly awaiting the March update and..well, I meant to but forgot, that's what happens when you reach my advanced age. Anyway, last month went out with a bit of a snow storm but today is stunning and gorgeous, just like me..

Have booked a couple of flights abroad because it's good to have something to look forward to after these hellish months of snow and ice. What I been up to? Well, this and that, I have had a tree on my mind for a lot of the time, a tree that I grew up beside (more exactly opposite) and is about 150 years old, so even it is older than me! A local cowboy builder had plans to kill it and build shoddy flats over the ancient roots but my dad and I gathered a posse and defeated his nonsensical plans, though he can appeal the council's decision. I will keep you all posted on developments, and provide you with better photos of the gorgeous tree than this one I took.

Went walking last weekend, intended to go to Crail but the roads were closed for some reason or other so got off bus in Elie instead and walked again to Leven from there. The Chain Walk could not be attempted because of high tide, believe me, I would have drowned this time!

Here are a few photos, one is of the wonderful tree, one is of my local pub, the other is of Earlsferry, near the Chain Walk.

Bye bye February

2010-02-28T15:10:00.002Z

It's amazing that two months are already gone, every year gets quicker. What have I been up to? Well, this and that, I went to Elie and walked to Leven, which included the famous chain walk. I hadn't even thought about my dodgy wrist/arm before attempting this, but was reminded by a considerable amount of pain while halfway up a cliff face. Still, the tide wasn't totally in and I managed it. For those that don't know, when the tide is in, any mistake can be deadly, indeed it has claimed many people over the years.

Stunning bridges

2010-01-21T18:11:00.007Z

Hello people! The snow has finally gone, being happy about it probably means I'm an old git now! Still, driving is possible again so that's good. Just back from work, just had a bottle of Schlenkerla Rauchweizen (a most magnificent smoked wheat beer from Bamberg) and life ain't so bad afterall, all you'd need is a wee dram of Laphroaig Islay single malt whisky to make things perfect..which reminds me, I have some left in the bottle under the sink! :-))

Here are a couple of photos from Saturday 9 January, when I and a couple of comrades walked from South Queensferry to Burntisland, the snow was great, I don't mind it when I'm not in the car, nice purple hat eh? Perhaps we take the Forth Rail and Road Bridges for granted but I wouldn't be without them..

Happy New Year!

2009-12-30T17:36:00.004Z

It's been a hectic couple of months and another year is almost over, I know I've been more depressing than Morrisey recently so I'll not write how every year goes quicker etc etc. Got the cast off my broken right arm and can even drive again now, so that's good. And the snow! So much last week, first time I'd seen that much since '93. Hope you all had a stunning Xmas and are about to celebrate 2010. Here are a couple of photos because I finally got around to getting a new camera, tried using the cartoon feature so that's why the photos look funny. One shows my parents and younger sister, the other shows the most wonderful day- the wedding of my parents ( I took a photo of the photo you see, I was not there...honest..I had too much of a hangover to attend..) :-).

Broken boned depressive..

2009-11-23T17:12:00.004Z

Well, a lot has happened since the last update and I apologise for the lack of new photos, will get around to getting a new camera soon. First, I spent two weeks in Glasgow getting training at the network O2, I shall be training new people in due course back in the capital. Also, well, I broke my lower arm and wrist in a fall running for a train last week, those who know me will know my obsession with not missing trains and buses. Think I might change my behaviour because I was in hospital for a couple of days and had an operation under general anaesthetic. Also, the cast I've on is really beginning to annoy me. I stick a plastic bag over it for showering but it makes the hand sweat - at least it's the left..

My planned trip to Germany looks like it will also be delayed as the work are demanding I train O2 trainees! Hellloo, I had this trip planned for weeks..!

Oh well, so ist das Leben, sorry I'm not my witty self, will try to do better in future. Picture shows a great discovery - ham flavoured schnapps! Went down a treat it did!

lovely bison and large lagers

2009-10-25T16:16:00.004Z

Hello again! I had a good time up in Newtonmore in the Highlands, did lots of walking and even collected mushrooms and won a pub quiz! Afterwards I flew out to the Volksfest in Stuttgart, there I did not touch a drop of beer or schnapps..NOT..and, as we all know, two negatives make a positive! Been back at work for a couple of weeks now, been pretty uneventful but I heard at end of last week that I've to spend this week in Glasgow..in the Weeg!! We'll see how it goes but the chaotic arrangements for this do not fill me with confidence. Oh, I saw Colin the dog and 4 of his pals today, he said to say hello to my blog readers, smart doggie he is..

Thanks to Dr Reddick for arriving with the best medicine for my recent ailments - genuine German Oktoberfest beer! I actually woke up feeling semi-normal after a week or so of feeling bad. So you know what to do if the flu gets you - crack open the beers and start drinking. The aforementioned Reddick even demonstrated-several times- how the medicine should be taken!

Here are a couple of photos from my recent adventures. One is from the Highland Wildlife Park, the other from a Stuttgart beer tent.

Fortnight free!

2009-09-24T19:13:00.003+01:00

Yes folks, after tomorrow I am on holiday for 2 weeks!! Am heading up north for a week before heading to Germany for a beer festival for 3 days. Well, I think I deserve some chill time, been a bit too stressed out to be my witty and charming normal self recently ;-) !!

Will have to get a new camera soon, mine has been broken for months now, apologies for not posting stunning new images of myself. I should have gone to Dallas..that is where my future is..I dreamt that last night that Pam and Sue Ellen were fighting it out to be with me, had my fingers crossed for Pam...but then the alarm went off, why does that ALWAYS happen!! Still, no alarms for a couple of weeks! yeee haaa.

Time machine

2009-08-30T18:39:00.003+01:00

I always find August a difficult month to write anything, I don't know why, this year it's maybe because I've not been anywhere different or done much (at least nothing I want in the public domain ;-) ). It's been a bog standard non-eventful month, getting up early and going to bed early too, at least I have a couple of weeks off at the end of September. Wish I had a time machine, I was looking at a book about dinosaurs with my nephew earlier on, he asked if I remember them..well, I guess I almost do. Even going back in my time machine a hundred years or so would be great, maybe then I could have been witness to the death of my great-grandfather, who died aged 32 in 1906- I live in the same town, here is the grave. I always tend to get the blues on a Sunday, will be more cheerful once Monday is over!!

Teutonic vandalism and TV resurrection

2009-07-22T17:46:00.005+01:00

Well, here I am on a Wednesday, just back from work, sifting through the wreckage of a visit by Clemens. As Winston Churchill almost said "Never in the field of human drinking have so many beers been consumed by so few"..or something like that anyway.

Unfortunately it was not only my liver that Clemens set out to destroy - my trusty digital camera packed in, meaning I could take no photos of our various adventures. The camera on my mobile is pants so the couple of photos of Highland Games Day in Burntisland appear courtesy of Tavis' mobile. Clem also buggered my TV, it doesn't work after I left him to continue boozing because I had to get up early for work. This joins the record player -that has never recovered from Oli's ill-fated Scottish job search- in the German attempt at breaking everything in my flat..

Aaahhhhhhhhh the TV has sprung back into life!! A miracle has occurred! Gott sei dank!

Had a good long walk from Tay Bridge to St Andrews on Saturday, it's about 18 miles but mostly a scenic route, something similar will be attempted this coming weekend too, sometimes just getting out there is good for the mind and soul. More later blog fans!

Inviting..

2009-06-12T20:22:00.004+01:00

Invited to the USA for a wedding, to Australia for a barbeque with stunning sheilas, to Kirkcaldy for a piss-up..so what do I do? Choose Kirkcaldy, then decide my village is better so don't go anywhere. What's up?

Who possibly could refuse the big KDY? I must be mad.

Here a photo of my lovely flat, those who know will know..Schönes Wochenende!

Nanny state and strange wetness

2009-05-19T18:32:00.003+01:00

How come my hits counter is stuck at 590? It was always nice to know how many people had nothing better to do other than read my weird thoughts and look at photos of me in some pub or other. Well, I'll not disappoint you, one of the photos shows me a couple of weeks ago in the Heidelberg Sonderbar, Clemens and Oli forcing me to drink copious amounts of beer, soon to be followed by some schnapps back at Clemens' place while listening to "So what" by the Anti-Nowhere League, an absolute must for connoisseurs of classic punk seshing.

The government here is always telling us how to live our lives, don't smoke that, don't drink this, blah blah. Increasing the price of booze seems to be their solution, obviously oblivious of the fact that most European countries have cheaper booze than us! If they wish to dictate to us how we should behave, perhaps using the other photo here would be better propaganda for them! I can just see the health-fascists rubbing their hands with glee..yes kids, don't drink to excess or you too will be unable to grow a proper beard, you too would fall unconscious on the gorgeous blue leather sofa of your host..and you too could have suspicious looking stains on your trousers.. That wasn't caused by spilling red wine! Oh the glory of it all!

Retroman

2009-04-28T18:53:00.004+01:00

Why is it I live in the past? All my tastes, everything, seems retro. Films?, Music? TV? Don't bother asking because I'm in retro mode, if it ain't old then forget it...Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Bette Davis..better than any modern film star eh?

Why watch or listen to modern stuff when there is old stuff? Isn't the best soap ever Dallas? Kids program? Bagpuss or the Clangers! Music? Well, there are lots of great retro-bands! Sex Pistols! ACDC! Beethoven!Kajagoogoo! Ok, even I draw the line there, they weren't the same after Limahl left..

Have been a good boy this month and have had several booze-free days. Am becoming a bit of a health-freak and it will have to stop. At least the new-found sobriety is stopping my late night DVD shopping sprees! Already I have almost every season of Dallas but what would further boozy nights land me with? Complete boxset DVDs of "Starsky and Hutch"?, Worsel Gummage.. surely not? Oh, lets be honest, it is sure to be "Charlie's Angels", "Dukes (preferably Daisy) of Hazzard" or "Wonder Woman". Oh, come on, I was more interested in the stories rather than the scenery as a child back then!

Off to Germany again on Friday! Yes! Stuttgart spring festival! So predictable!

Topless stunner!

2009-03-18T19:20:00.004Z

Calm down, it's only me!

Have been to Portugal for a week and it was really nice. We stayed in Albufeira in the Algarve but also took day trips to Lisbon and to the eastern Algarve and into Spain. It's good at this time of year because the weather, although very warm, is bearable and the resorts are not overcrowded with thousands of tourists. Oh, the fun we had on the beach, in the bars..and, well, doing cultural things. I'm not some kind of uncouth lager lout you know..I like other drinks too!

The photos shows me trying to avoid skin cancer on the beach with a can of Sagres beer in my hand and a gorgeous hat on my head. The other shows my hotel bedroom toilet, it was warm in there so luckily the hotel provided a beer chilling facility. The other two show me trying to get off with a sexy tree, and my German biographer who plied me with drinks to get juicy titbits for her upcoming bestseller..

Stiff

2009-02-21T19:11:00.003Z

I'm stiff. Stop it, I mean my legs! Have been walking all afternoon from Kinghorn to Inverkeithing along the stunning Fife coast. With me was my pal Colin the dog, without doubt the most outgoing and charismatic friend that I have. Came home after dropping Colin off and am now relaxing with a glass or two of Shiraz in my Kinghorn bunker. Thoughts of going out on a Saturday night are not often in my thoughts these days, either it's the global recession or I'm an ancient old shit..or maybe both.

Here are two photos from my recent walking adventures with doggie.

Prehistoric

2009-01-28T20:04:00.004Z

It only seems like yesterday since the last one but another birthday lies in store tomorrow. Obviously those who know me know that I'm very relaxed about the aging process and have no issues at all....heeeeeeelllp!! Am getting old so I am!! I'll be a cantankerous old git in a couple of years, droning on about the youth of today etc etc. Hope I get a walking stick, some hair dye, and incontinence pads for presents. Oh well, I've a trip to Portugal in March to look forward to - if I live that long.

Is there such a thing as an age councillor, helping those with a youthful view of themselves come to terms with the wrinkly truth? I might need one in about 15 years or so....

Photo captures a rare moment in history, me buying Tavis a round in the local pub. Well, I felt sorry for him after putting him to the sword at pool.

Wooooooooof

2008-12-21T11:35:00.003Z

Two updates today! Well, had to let you know about my Christmas companion Colin! Yes, I'm looking after Colin the dog for the next week or so and have, as the picture shows, been making sure he's comfortable!

Frohes Fest!

2008-12-21T11:05:00.007Z

Hello again! Sorry about not updating for a while, have been away to Heidelberg and Stuttgart yet again, this time for the traditional Glühwein drinking and joyous yuletide festivities. The Kapsmeister and I certainly got into the festive spirit with a Christmas Market session that is sure to attain legendary status. Woke up next day with a poster of Laurel and Hardy, candles, bottles, a plant, and the remains of a half eaten pizza littering the flat. My memory however was nowhere to be found..well, it's Xmas isn't it? Have a good one blog fans!

Here are a couple of photos from my trip. One shows Fräulein Kaps leading me astray at the Christmas Market, the other two are from a Heidelberg whisky tasting evening in the Sonderbar. Clemens, Oli and Rudi appear. Clemens had brought along a nice bottle of Bamberg smoked beer as a present, unfortunately, after the whiskies, he forgot to give it to me. He did write me an e-mail saying it tasted good though. Nice.

me, bear, surrounded by birds

2008-11-11T18:29:00.003Z

No, I'm not entering the realms of fantasy, the picture proves it! The other photo, also taken on the West Highland Way is of Loch Tulla near Bridge of Orchy, a rare interlude when it wasn't raining.

90th anniversary of end of World War One today, as the last British survivor who saw action in the trenches said when interviewed on the news, "remember the Germans as well as our own", the tragedy is that we remember those lost, they don't.

Dinne fash, I'm back!

2008-11-06T20:13:00.011Z

Hi there!

Yes, I know it's been a while, what happened to the full report of the conquering of the West Highland Way etc etc? Well, I've been busy recovering and playing host to Fräulein Kaps (Seltsam, Ich scheine mich daran zu erinnern daß die Kathedrale auf der anderen Seite des Platzes war*) and only now can I report to my readers.

The WHW was very good, the weather was totally crap most days but I guess you don't go to the highlands of Scotland in October if you're looking to top up your tan! It took Tavis and me 7 walking days to finish the walk, starting on a Saturday and finishing on the Friday, the worst experiences being the snoring of the aforementioned Tavis, his incredible talent to walk as quickly as an octogenarian, his annoying ability to drink tea in pubs when the very best whiskies and beers were on offer, and the incredibly bad conditions that turned the path into a river for long sections.. oh come on, your snoring is a total disgrace Tavis!!

Photos show me at start and, suffering from lack of sleep, at finish of the West Highland Way adventure.

* famous quote from "where eagles dare" in German, oh it's a long story..

awa to the highlands!

2008-10-17T16:51:00.005+01:00

Here I am again, the day before I set off on my walk from Glasgow to Fort William along the West Highland Way. Long term blog fans will know I've been in this situation before (see Oct 06). This time I am just as unprepared as then, god knows what I'll take, well blister treatments and brandy (medicinal you see) seem like a good idea. Will try to take more photos this time and will tell you all the steamy, bodice-ripping, saga upon my return! God, a whole week of listening to Tavis' conspiracy theories...don't know if my ears or feet will hurt more.

The photo shows me in Budapest slapping an incredibly huge salami! Huh, I hardly needed to travel to Hungary to do that, should have stayed at home..!!

Me with an amazing bust.

2008-10-02T19:38:00.004+01:00

Am back from my holiday to Germany and Budapest, it's bloody typical that I've been healthy all year then get the flu as soon as I step on board a plane! Still, I'm not the complaining type...and still managed to have a good time. Here is a photo of me and the bust of mass murderer Josef Stalin..i've always liked busts!!..the other photo shows the gorgeousness of Budapest.

Not long now until Tavis and I take on the West Highland Way, it's going to be a blistering extravagansa to be sure! More later blog fans!

Late bunny

2008-09-06T20:39:00.004+01:00

Yes, I've been a lazy sod and haven't updated for a while, my apologies to my legions of readers!

Alas, news reached me that the stunning bunny Fritz has departed to the great rabbit hutch in the sky, flowers everywhere can rest easy now that the long-eared stunner is instead pushing up the daisies instead of munching them. The photo captures him in top flower-destroying form. RIP.

Been trying to keep fit for the West Highland Way that I'm doing in October so have done a couple of long walks recently. Last Saturday I caught bus to Crail and walked the glorious and lonely 15 miles or so to St Andrews. Today I was in Edinburgh filming, and also taking part in, a body pump class. It's a long story that has dragged on for months. Hopefully this time we got it right!

Not long now until I head to Germany (yes, sooo predictable) and Hungary. Bis zum nächsten Mal!

PS Jochen left work to head to Munich, he was devastated to leave after 10 happy years working next to me. The photo shows him with tears in his eyes, wondering how he will cope without my wisdom and guidance.

Regina and Deadly

2008-07-23T17:43:00.002+01:00

Hello again blog fans! What has happened since last time? Well, Regina and "deadly" Dieter (named because of his legendary drinking prowess) came to Scotland for the first time and demanded I show them the pubs of Edinburgh- and buy most of the rounds...it's a hard life but someones got to do it! We had a good time on two consecutive Saturdays- they toured the country between our Edinburgh pub tours. Here are two photos of them on both nights. The deadly one had a lucky escape from an irate lady demanding he stop urinating on her plants but otherwise things went swimmingly. The other photo is me at work, looking stunningly blue and happy...happy at work? Who says the camera never lies?

So predictable..

2008-07-04T18:37:00.006+01:00

July is probably my favourite month but really I've just not been feeling 100% since my return from Germany on Tuesday, yes! I've been over to Heidelberg and Stuttgart again and the weather was perfect. Even had the honour of witnessing Germany lose a Euro final while on German soil- the first time this happened was 1992 when the Danes won and I celebrated in someone's Heidelberg living room surrounded by depressed members of the teutonic fanclub. It's like an endless groundhog day.

Anyway, am back in the work routine and at least it's Friday. Not got many plans other than sleeping lots this weekend, with whom has yet to be decided..oh the wit.. here a couple of photos, of what I don't know, not decided yet. Well one is of me, the other is of elite members of the Heidelberg Betrunkenheit Abteilung (Olli and Clemens).

Auf Wiedersehen schon wieder!

2008-06-25T21:17:00.005+01:00

Am off from work for a few days now and am doing the usual, yes am off to Germany for a long weekend in Heidelberg and Stuttgart. I'm just so predictable am I not?

Walked the coast from Crail to Elie with Tavis in Saturday, here are a couple of photos..including one of Tavis standing on a street named in honour of him!!

PS The harbour behind me is in Cellardyke, where a dead swan was found a while back with deadly bird flu- confirming the disease had reached Britain..yeah, I knew you'd be interested..

Three score and ten

2008-06-01T16:20:00.004+01:00

June already, obviously you're now expecting me to say every year goes quicker blah blah, but I won't because I'm still stunning and young..my mother isn't though! She celebrated her 70th birthday during the week (yes, she had me when she was 45!!) and we all went out for a meal to celebrate. What else have I been up to? Well, I was starring in a video yesterday, stop it!.. a fitness video for someone wanting to be a body pump instructor, not too good at walking today..

Deutschland yet again!!

2008-05-21T19:22:00.008+01:00

Got back from my third visit of the year to Germany on Monday- this time I didn't miss my flight back!

All went well, went to Leipzig, where I lived from 1994-96, and things have changed a lot. I also went to a wedding up near Rostock near the baltic sea in former East Germany. I was the only foreigner at the event and it went quite well, there was a free bar and even my request for the DJ to play TNT and Highway to hell was granted. Luckily no videos were made of my terrible dancing but photos do exist of the riotous wedding reception.

Here are a couple of photos from my visit..one shows me leaning against a tree outside the "Killywilly" pub in Leipzig that used to be a place I visited regularly during my years there, the other is from the wedding - not the happy couple you understand, you know who you are...

Note: Due to complaints received I have removed the photo of Sebastian and Janet. Not a surprise really as they both looked appalling!

Another Note 03/07/08 : Have added another photo of the wedding festivities. This one shows Uncle Friedhelm and his wife (in the middle) trying heroically-but ultimately failing- to stop the binge drinking Maggie (on the left obviously!) getting drunk again!! Haaaaaa

C'est la Vie

2008-05-08T19:30:00.003+01:00

It's been a while since I last updated this ever-so interesting blog, so what has happened? Well, a week or so ago I was in Germany yet again to visit Heidelberg, then Stuttgart, then back to Heidelberg for the last night because my very early bus to Hahn airport left from there..at least that was the plan, I mean it almost worked out, apart from the last bit about getting an early bus! Oliver excelled himself by switching the alarm off so I awoke after the bus had departed, result? An expected extra day in glorious Heidelberg and an extra 150 Euros for flight. C'est la Vie. Here is a photo or two from my visit.

Gorgeous pussy

2008-04-08T19:52:00.003+01:00

Well, Linda's extended going-away to Australia festivities finally came to an end, but not before we all met up in Kirkcaldy for a few beers. I love the expression of the blonde at the bar, the sheer horror of us!

Before Linda left she informed me that the person who was supposed to take her cat Pepsi had let her down, could I look after the stunning moggie for a while? Well, I could hardly turn down this gorgeous cat so for the last few days she has been my guest in bonnie Kinghorn.

Work night out

2008-03-14T18:08:00.002Z

Yeeees, yet another photo in a pub situation! Oh come on, it was a going-away party for Linda who is heading off to Australia forever very soon, where else were we supposed to go? Church? Anyway, here are some of my work colleagues with Linda taking centre stage.

Newbridge-St Andrews

2008-02-20T20:02:00.003Z

Saturday, Tavis and I managed to complete the only stretch of the Fife Coastal Path that was still to be conquered. After a 7 or so hours slog through Newport, Tayport, Tentsmuir Forest, Leuchars and Guardbridge, we entered St Andrews to a fanatical welcome from our army of scantily-clad female student admirers.. well, a man can have dreams..the photos show me at start of walk (with Tay Bridge in background) and as fresh as a daisy at the end. Tavis on the other hand was totally knackered as the photo on bus proves! Oh well, he is getting on a bit!

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-01-29T19:50:00.000Z

Yes, another year older.. but who cares? If I feel I'm becoming too old I'll lie about my age, unfortunately Clemens the German forgot to do so and invited many people to his 40th birthday bash in Heidelberg last week. I hastily scrambled into a Messerschmitt 109 and flew over to Germany, enemy flak punctured my fuel tank but I successfully parachutted into the riotous party. Photo shows Matthias, Felicia and myself. Well, I'm not showing Clemens two posts in a row, people might talk!

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T22:14:00.000Z

Have felt really ill for a couple of days now, not that it stopped me going to work today. Luckily we got away earlier than usual and I could stock up with anti-flu products at the local shop . I always find beer and whisky are the best medicine, or maybe you just forget you're ill after a while? Am a bit sad that I'm at the same point this year-in every aspect of my life-as I was last year..but, at least I know how to improve things in 2008! The photo? Well, the Likely Lads remind me of a friend or two..i'd be the Terry character, charismatic and usually in the pub..Bob? Well, there are a few out there..those too young won't remember them at all.. :-(

Why is it that many of these updates/photos are taken in drinking situations? It is a mystery that I've been thinking about for a while. Perhaps this isn't the day to change things.

Another year gone..

2007-12-24T16:50:00.000Z

It gets quicker every year too, aye I might not look it but I'm getting auld so I am! Not updated for a while because I really couldn't be bothered, I went to Germany a week or so ago, hung around the christmas markets drinking mulled wine and hot mead, was lovely. I'm not much into Christmas day but I do like the candles, the food, the drink..and the more drink! Don't have much time off work though, it's back to work on Boxing day, yippee! What do you call a blind reindeer by the way? No idea(r).......

It certainly has been an interesting year, finished by German course, managed to get a distinction too, am now thinking of all the lovely places I could visit next year, it's time to to seek out new life and new civilisations; to boldly go where no man has gone before..

Photo shows Clemens and I in brilliant drinking form in Kirkcaldy during his recent visit to bonnie Fife. Tavis -who took the photo- apologised profusely to Clemens for the hideous war crimes committed by his family during the war. Not that he gave Clemens any of the stolen items to take back home with him.

Bloody hell..

2007-10-24T19:46:00.000+01:00

I knew it had been a while since I updated this but so long?? I can only apologise to my devoted reader. What has happened since last time? Well, too much to write here right now. Let's just say that Hollywood beckons and my...oh, ok..everything is much the same. Was in Germany last week at the Stuttgart Volksfest. The photos show me in magnificent drinking form. During my trip I didn't bump into ex-Luftwaffe ace Adolf Galland, perhaps because he died more than a decade ago (one of my readers will appreciate the photo though!).

Dr No-Verybonniefeet

2007-07-13T20:16:00.000+01:00

Dropped in at the old folks in bonnie Burntisland after work, the tidal wave of excitement this engendered can be seen in this photo of Ronald Mitchell Smith Esq. He even had the audacity to allege he was a better table tennis player than me, ha ha, bring out the bats Dr Mengele-Smyth..

A year in the life..

2007-06-15T22:39:00.000+01:00

..of me, and it makes me feel bloody old, looking at what I've written over the last year I also have done myself no favours. My year long experiment is now over (or is it? time will tell), in the meantime, here is a stunning doggie.

A rare sight indeed.

2007-06-11T17:42:00.000+01:00

Miracles do happen you know, this picture shows Tavis actually up buying a round in the Cellar Bar in St Andrews on Saturday! The bar promised a wide range of European beers on it's website but unfortunately the Bamberg smoked beer was not available. To get to St Andrews, Tav and I walked for hours from Crail, the other photo shows Tavis being charismatic on a big rock, the ancient old git celebrates his 40th (Forty!) tomorrow! Ha haaaaa. As if to prove his senility he missed the bus back home that I was on. You have to make allowances for age I suppose..

Blog is a year old now, amazing how quick time flies when you're young and stunning like me..

Toilets

2007-05-25T22:36:00.000+01:00

Just finished doing some homework for my German Open University course, it's pretty rarely I do that so I thought I'd let you all know. As for photos, I think toilets are today's theme, have a look at what Portugal and a bar in Stuttgart have to offer..

Oh dearie me

2007-04-19T19:47:00.000+01:00

This is a cautionary tale for every country and every generation, the story of what happens when an otherwise civilised and cultured drinking establishment surrenders it's credibility by serving, not only lager, but 12 year old single Islay malt whisky to an amateur from Kirkcaldy by the name of Tavis.

Note his inability to even look in the general direction of the camera as he ogles the talent of Lower Largo disappearing into the distance. Hardly surprising judging by the stain on his trousers! Oh the glory of it all!

Some recent photos

2007-04-01T15:46:00.000+01:00

Some lovely photos of Kirkcaldy, my youngest nephew and my back garden- before I cut the grass earlier on. Stunning eh?

All blogged out?

2007-03-21T18:14:00.001Z

Someone I met last year said of this blog "yeah, it's alright, in fact it's quite funny (it was maybe in August 06 sometime, anyway a while ago) but why do you have one"?

Unless one or two of my loyal readers can provide a reason to continue, I'll maybe stop torturing you all with the joyfulness of my many adventures. I can hardly spill the beans on my Errol Flynnesque adventures without the encouragement of my fanbase! Obviously the picture has nothing to do with what I've written..who cares?

I was 8 then, the other is Seafield Tower just along the coast from me. Walked past it today on my way to get a much needed haircut in Kirkcaldy. Please note the highly professional shadow of the photo taker!

Historical places

2007-02-18T17:02:00.000Z

I've always wanted to visit Dallas. Why? Well, I was a fan of the TV series (oh the shame of admitting it- those visits to US Soap fan anonymous have obviously paid off) but that wasn't the reason really. It was more to do with seeing the scene of the JFK assassination, scenes of great historical events have always been fascinating to me. I've been to a few places here in Scotland, and the rest of the UK for that matter, but history seems to occur in other countries too..

This photo, taken last August shows me - no, not having a pee, nor anything else (my eyes were closed due to the sun!) - in the exact location of the Berlin Führerbunker. This was exactly the place where Adolf and Eva were set alight.

Obrigado

2007-02-05T19:04:00.000Z

Just back from a week on the Algarve. I also celebrated my umpteenth 21st birthday while there. Weather was very warm most of the time, the local beer was very good and the food was great.

Now I'm back in dreichland and not feeling too cheerful about it. Arrived back yesterday after our aircraft made an unscheduled stop in Brest to let a very ill traveler off the plane (luckily it wasn't the pilot). I mean, if someone had told me I'd be seeing plenty of "brest" on my holidays I'd be over the moon. Still, as this photo proves, I saw plenty of something else!! :-)

Ich bin's wieder

2007-01-26T22:37:00.000Z

Yeah, I know it's been a long time but it's been one of those months, not boring you understand, it's just been..oh whatever. Anyway, I had a bad day at work, got totally stressed and needed to chill. I went along to the Harbour Bar (one of the few bars where I bring the average age down a decade or two by entering) and had two or three pints with a couple of old chinas of mine. Being in a money saving mood I walked back from there to here- only took an hour or so and I needed to burn a few calories after the chinese I had earlier.

Am off from work for over a week now, I'll let you know how I spent it. This picture has nothing to do with what I've just been writing (I left the digital camera at home), still it should be appreciated by a couple of people I know.. Well, I'd consider going to places like Naples more if I understood the lingo. Restoring the borders of 1228 would make foreign travel so much better.. only one language to learn..

2007? Already?

2007-01-05T20:52:00.000Z

Hope you all had a good new year.

I posted something here in the early hours of New Year's day I think..but on sober reflection I removed it. God knows why considering the embarrasing updates I've posted over the last few months! So I guess my New Year's resolution is to publish and be damned, I only write truth or semi-truth anyway and everyone thinks I'm great..

Had only a couple of days off during the Xmas period so I'm not half glad the rest of you malingering bstards will be going back to the grind too! Then again, I know one or two people who have never worked- a few colleagues for instance.. Maybe I should marry someone rich and lead a life of luxury, I made a bad decision dumping Athena Onassis, think I'll maybe give her a second chance.

The photo shows my hardworking sister Kath, Philip and Rhys. The boys seem unconcerned that their chimney sweeping duties await!! ha haaa

I'll get you my pretty..

2006-12-25T19:34:00.000Z

Had a quiet, traditional Xmas dinner along at my parents, then visited others. Hope you have had a good one. Took a few photos with the new camera of course, this one is me doing my "Wizard of Oz" wicked witch impersonation..

Shopping

2006-12-18T18:07:00.000Z

Had today off which was nice. Got up about 11..bliss.. then headed out for lunch and then went shopping in Kirkcaldy. Suppose it's about time to start the Xmas mad rush! I managed to buy a few pressies-you can't go wrong with booze and chocolate! Still, have quite a few still to buy. Been playing around with a good value digital camera my mater bankrolled for me as a present today. The chaotic bookshelves reflect the owner's life at present. Shame I'd moved all the classsics of English literature to another part of the living room, leaving mindbuilding material such as Viz annuals etc on view!

Hello again!

2006-12-10T14:42:00.000Z

I'm back! Was in Heidelberg first, visiting Clemens and family (which seems to include Oli these days- those who know will understand..). We went to our traditional haunts and, as usual, in the Sonderbar I asked for a traditional yuletide song to be played..TNT by ACDC..well, it's that kind of bar. Anyway, I got my Glühwein at the Xmas market and next day it was off to Stuttgart and a flight to Vienna. Vienna is a really nice city, took in some culture (e.g. Museums, Hofburg, St Stephen's Cathedral) and more Glühwein next to a huge floodlit church on Karl's Platz (see photo). The heated wine not half warms you up on cold winter evenings, so I was positively roasting when I staggered away from the christmas revellers, singing "Vienna" by Ultravox. We also went to the Prater, where we visited the Planetarium which was excellent. Next day Stuttgart awaited, our magnificent team (Me, Janet, Carla, Olivier) won the quiz in the English pub near the centre and gulped down the winner's Sekt with gusto.

Got back yesterday about midnight after about a 12 hour journey involving trams, trains, bus, planes but no automobiles. Good old Scotland...cold, dreich, but possessing a certain charm, at least it does now that I'm back.... ha haaaaaaa

Tschüss

2006-12-02T12:41:00.000Z

They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven or is he in hell? That damned elusive..Black Toenail. Yes, a souvenir of the West Highland Way, the big toenail on the right has gone totally black, so at least a part of me has natural rhythm!

Ich verabschiede mich, werde die Woche in Deutschland und Wien verbringen.

Rainforest

2006-11-20T17:29:00.000Z

It was my turn to drive to work today (I car-share with 3 others) and not only was an accident blocking the bridge causing massive tailbacks, but the weather was the worst it's been in ages. All this and it was still dark too- unsurprisingly I began thinking about how life could be better. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to escape this glorious country forever but at least 6 months of the year would surely be more enjoyable spent abroad in a place like Brazil. A friend, and former colleague of mine, sent this rather interesting picture of herself from that very country the other day- it certainly beats Edinburgh at rush hour! I know what you're thinking, and I agree, the rainforest by the sea looks lovely.

lazy

2006-11-11T21:07:00.000Z

The "couple of pints" in Edinburgh actually ended up being about a couple of gallons. Texted a couple of people I probably shouldn't have. Nights like that, once common in my youth, are now rare however. Awoke this afternoon to find a half-eaten pizza sharing my bed - could have been worse I suppose!

Edited this blog entry today- Sunday. Should have headed along the coast today but ended up getting up very late again. Having one of those days when I can't be bothered doing anything at all, it was a struggle to switch even the PC on. Perhaps I should put some clothes on because I'm sure a neighbour saw me walking naked into the kitchen. Then again, why was she staring in?

The KKK took my baby away

2006-11-09T21:02:00.000Z

Just watched a DVD about the Ramones, the right-wing guitarist stole the left-wing singer's girlfriend and the feud lasted about 20 years until one of them died, still, at least the singer wrote a good song about it. It seems it's not only members of famous bands that have problems like this. .

Was murder at work today but at least tomorrow is Friday, I'll go out for a couple in the capital after work, it's been a while since I tripped the light fantastic over there. I was thinking today, why is it that I always have to wait behind people who don't know how to work cash machines? I mean they've been a part of our lives for 20 odd years yet some old grannies act as if they have never seen one before. It's always when I'm in a rush to catch a train or bus too. Shame the KKK haven't taken the geriatric old bedwetters away too. Oohhh controversy..

darkness

2006-11-01T18:21:00.000Z

Back into the normal routine now, getting up in darkness, going to work, coming back in darkness. It will be like this for ages now, how depressing. Well, I am going over to Europe in December so I've not too long to wait. After we got back from Fort William after our week-long, heroic, West Highland odyssey, we decided to do some Fife coastal walking too. This dreadful photo, taken by Tavis on his phone, shows the conquering highland heroes in a most unflattering light. I can assure my loyal reader(s) that we are really just good friends! Thanks for the camp pose Clemens.

Went to Lidl on way back from work- proper German Lentil soup on offer! Got myself a trolley and filled it up. Lovely jubbly.

Success

2006-10-28T12:01:00.000+01:00

We finished the West Highland Way yesterday! Have a few blisters and some aches and pains but it was worth it. More later..

jetzt geht's los

2006-10-20T19:51:00.000+01:00

It may be Friday night but I'm not enjoying myself too much, have a new rucksack but I've just discovered how little will fit in it! I've had to sacrifice tons of stuff already and there's more to take out if it is to be carried for a week on the West Highland Way. I'll try no to fash masel aboot it however. My walking companion will arrive from Germany in about 3 hours time, little does he know that I've been drinking the beer in the fridge I bought for him, what he's never had he'll never miss eh? I'm certainly looking forward to the weizenbock beer he's bringing me however :-p ha ha ha, he shouldn't have told me eh? Bis zum nächsten Mal!

Lyric

2006-10-11T17:45:00.000+01:00

Was driving into work today with a lyric stuck in my head "No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark" and it took me a while to remember it was from "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors. It kinda sums up my..er..week so far, apart from the wine part of course!

wandered

2006-10-03T18:19:00.000+01:00

I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o'er vales and hills, when all at once I saw a pub, a host of golden Holsten Pils..

Walked along the coast with a couple of pals on Saturday, great weather, ended up partaking of liquid refreshment in an Aberdour Inn. Must get in practice for the West Highland Way afterall! The walking was good too.

globalisation

2006-09-29T20:24:00.000+01:00

Have you noticed that globalisation is creeping into even farflung corners of our glorious country? I spent time in Germany a few years ago and you could rest assured there was no chance of a white pudding supper washed down with Iron Brew, now perhaps? Well probably not actually, the point I was trying to make is that I've just been to Lidl for very cheap German lager. Shame you can't get authentic German lentil soup though!! I like German things, provided they taste nice (and aren't total bitches!! haaaaaa). Oh, I am witty tonight..

Heil Kitler

2006-09-19T20:19:00.000+01:00

I have a new ally in the struggle against the old maid pigeon feeding Mafia- my pal Kitler. Gorgeous isn't he? He goosesteps around the garden chasing off the birds while all the time formulating plans for world domination. He charismatically miaows most evenings before leaving his brown-feathered sparrow stormtroops to protect his domain until his return next day. Those sparrows better look out because I'm sure he's planning to purge a few of them..

Age

2006-09-13T18:48:00.000+01:00

It makes you feel old (even me!) when someone in your training group, who you thought was much older, turns out to be seventeen. Year of birth 1989 for gods sake! Seems like yesterday..I mentioned to a colleague last year if she thought the Live 8 concert was as good as the Live Aid one back in 1985, her reply that she was two at the time was a little deflating. I watched it at a friend's house with a beer in my hand. Whatever was his mother doing, plying an eight year old boy with booze? Also makes you feel older when people you think are positively ancient only turn out to be a couple of years older too! Why this age obsession I hear you ask? You're still young, handsome and stunning..exactly, I'll worry in another 5 years.

Respect

2006-09-08T23:37:00.000+01:00

Back home and sober! Now there's a Friday night experience most of my readership won't have had in recent times. Was through in Kdy, was going to go to nightclub with my drinking buddies until I realised I couldn't really be bothered. The entry charge never crossed my mind because I'm really generous and have no stinginess issues at all. I'd have fallen asleep there anyway.

Was shocked earlier in the week to hear of the death of the great Australian Steve Irwin, he was someone I really admired. He was a kick-ass spokesman for conservationism and against animal cruelty and the killing of animals for fun. His programs were/are educational, who couldn't admire his knowledge and enthusiasm? He deserved a lot more than than the 44 years he was given. A hero in Khaki.

Bloody ironic really that the scumbag Ian Huntley took an overdose and failed to kill himself in the same week! There really is no justice in the world!

Who?

2006-09-01T21:50:00.000+01:00

Was this the quickest week ever? Maybe, perhaps because I wasn't looking forward to the weekend. I've a lot of homework for my course to do but what have I done? Nothing! Now I've a couple of days left and the pressure is on! I've always needed the pressure, even when I was at University I was always running to hand an essay in that was due in about 2 minutes time. I wasn't at Uni to write essays or dissertations afterall, I was there to booze and play pool. In fact I got a joint first class honours. So who is it? Clue for Tavis: She's female.

Back and bitten

2006-08-21T18:12:00.000+01:00

Hallo schon wieder! OK enough German, had a great 2 weeks in eastern Germany, went to Jena, Weimar and Berlin and other interesting places. Even went to Buchenwald concentration camp but unfortunately couldn't find "wish you were here" postcards for my countless devoted friends! Arrived back yesterday and was at work today despite being eaten almost alive by a vicious horde of midges/mosquitoes on my last night in Germany. Problem is I'm allergic to the bites and now have huge seeping swellings on arms, legs and body. Apart from that I'm still totally gorgeous so there's no need for Calvin Klein to cancel my contract. This photo was sent to me by one of my Jena German-course friends, it shows a few of people who had the pleasure of my company-hence the wide smiles..or maybe it was because it was the last night..? Note my amazing impression of a tomato. I think fruit and vegetable impersonations are my way to fame and fortune. Yeah! strawberry, melon, pear, celery stick, gooseberry..I can see it now, I'll have to get an agent.

Auf Wiedersehen

2006-08-03T18:31:00.000+01:00

Jetzt ist es soweit, ich melde mich für die nächste zwei Wochen ab. Ich fliege morgen nach Leipzig und werde wahrscheinlich die ganze Zeit in den neuen Bundesländern verbringen-bin auf jeden Fall in Jena für die erste sechs Tage. Ich werde euch vermissen. Ich weiss noch nicht ob ich dort Internetzugang haben werde, wenn ja, werde ich die Gelegenheit benutzen hier irgendwas zu schreiben.

Alles gute

keep fit

2006-08-01T19:55:00.000+01:00

No..I don't know why I mentioned that either, wouldn't be surprised if I started mentioning the storming of the Bastille next! It's strange what I write sometimes but then if I was only to write what's happened to me every day it wouldn't make for too interesting reading most days (aaahhh). What do you mean it isn't interesting anyway???

Anyway I have been good and tidied my luxurious flat up, even the washing-up is in the process of being done. Had pasta for tea then went for a walk along the beach, of course at that moment the heavens opened so I ran home again. I'll have to get into this running lark, it's a good way to keep fit and it's free- unlike swimming or going to a gym (who said Scots were tight?). Yeah, I'll be fit as a fiddle in next to no time! Think it will have to wait until after my calorie-laden trip to the former GDR though. Wouldn't it be great if there was pub called "The Gym" so you could impress your colleagues and friends by proudly telling them you're off to the gym every night!

Conspiracy

2006-07-29T22:31:00.000+01:00

Anyone who has watched Oliver Stone's JFK or other programs or documentaries which distort the truth might think that conspiracy is widespread and that Kennedy was shot by Neil Armstrong and Elvis on the grassy knoll. Wrong. Sometimes the simple truth is just that- the truth. With regard to the goings on in Dallas in 1963, the problem for many is that they can't believe that someone as significant as JFK could be killed by a loser like Lee Harvey Oswald. That he was a former US marine sharpshooter is often overlooked. At least there are no conspiracy theories about who shot Oswald, if not the reasons behind it. This photo shows Oswald a second before Jack Ruby wiped him out.

Been tidying up like mad today, even cut the grass and painted a windowsill. Oh, the wild bachelor lifestyle I lead! It's good to recharge the batteries some weekends though. My partying days are approaching..

politics

2006-07-26T18:48:00.000+01:00

Was busy at work today, only about a week to go until my holiday though! Oh, I'll be a happy bunny next week, a very happy bunny. Talking of which, I came across a suicidal one which tried desperately to throw itself under my car this morning- must have been depressed- luckily I didn't assist the suicide and swerved to avoid the long-eared carrot-muncher.

If it's good enough for the Basques, why not for Fifers? Yeah, separatism is the way to go, not this independence bullshit that's cost us Scots millions already.. and that's only for the laughing-stock debating chamber! Fife has an RAF base, the Rosyth naval shipyard, and lots of soldiers are recruited here, so it's obvious that we should annexe neighbouring territories and create a greater Fife empire. Fifeland, Fifeland über alles, über alles in der Welt! Oh, the sheer glory of it all.

Intellectual

2006-07-23T21:24:00.000+01:00

Well, that's another weekend gone. Started off at my nephew's 7th birthday party on Friday and it was there that most of the weekend's intellectual discussion took place- the rest of the time was spent in Kirkcaldy pubs with the usual suspects, talking about who was the most tightfisted and who had the least hair. Today I chilled in the flat watching the golf, and tidying up the spare room a bit..well I put one old letter in the bin, the rest will have to wait.

The photo here shows 2 intellectuals discussing the works of Goethe and Schiller in an artistic Kirkcaldy hangout.

Highland Games

2006-07-18T21:29:00.000+01:00

Was off work yesterday, went along to the the famous Burntisland Highland Games, not that I saw too many competitors, it was much too hot for me so what did I do? Yeah, I went into the Inchview Hotel and had a couple of cooling pints. Afterwards I returned to Kinghorn in the mobile sauna that was pretending to be a bus. I even managed to rake up a few leaves in the garden and cut the grass. A hard day's work indeed.

Back to proper work today though, had to give training all day in a boiling hot room. I almost had to do the full monty to cool down, certainly made the training more interesting for the lucky ladies.. :-p

walk

2006-07-16T01:25:00.000+01:00

Brilliant weather today, or yesterday, if you want seeing it's after midnight now. Today has been worth living through. Started off getting up late-for me 10am- and then went shopping for food in Kirkcaldy. I also took the opportunity to go to the car wash. Upon my return, I decided to exercise my lazy ass by walking from Leven to Kinghorn. I have to get in training for the West Highland Way afterall! Anyway, I walked about 4 hours into the sun this afternoon.

fee fi fo fum

2006-07-13T19:53:00.000+01:00

Was thinking in a spare moment today (I do sometimes) about how scary some childhood books were..as you do..

Fee fi fo fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
Be he alive or be he dead
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

Jack and the beanstalk- just one example of a scary childhood story. There are loads of others however:

Hansel and Gretel- being forcefed sweets until they are fat enough to eat (child n chips supper?)
Rumpelstiltskin - wanted to take someones baby for spinning gold (eh?)
Repunzel- baby taken by witch and growing up imprisoned in a tower (wierd or what?)
Little Red Riding Hood- murderous wolf with evil intentions
Billy goats gruff- What was that Troll doing down there..

I'm sure a psychologist could tell you the hidden meanings in these masterpieces of terror literature, they certainly made me lose some beauty sleep as a child..not that you'd notice.

wind

2006-07-12T20:33:00.000+01:00

I hate wind- and I don't mean mine! Anytime there is the slightest wind, a ton of ivy leaves fall onto my wee grassy oasis of antipigeonfeedingism- a bastion against the old maid mafia- and that means I've to rake up and put the mountain of leaves into the gorgeous new brown wheelie-bin. It's turning into an almost full-time job, or it would be if I could be bothered. It wouldn't be so bad if almost every ivy leaf wasn't covered in flying rat droppings.

Why do our lives go into limbo during the week? I can't think of anything memorable that's happened to me on recent wednesday nights. Then again..the same would be true of the last couple of Friday nights! Haaaahaa

beermats

2006-07-08T15:20:00.000+01:00

Spent the last two nights drinking the Herrnbräu Brewery dry at Kirkcaldy's Bavarian beer festival and am suffering for my sins today. Ended up in a nightclub too, though the memories of that are hazy. My friend called today to say a bouncer had kindly requested that he discontinue gracing the establishment with his presence..or words to that effect. I wasn't there to witness the glorious scene as I had already departed into the night.

It's amazing what can be found in your pockets after a night out, I have about 7 Herrnbräu beermats, a street map of Ingolstadt, a couple of Ingolstadt stickers and a lovely wee teddy bear called Bernadett!

The photo here was at the start of the festivities. Gorgeous t-shirt eh? Maybe the teddy bear was a prize for wearing it?

Planning..

2006-07-05T19:31:00.001+01:00

Been under the weather the last couple of days, but things are slowly getting better. Was off work yesterday but struggled in today. Tomorrow is the last day of the week for me because I've Friday off. I intend heading to Kirkcaldy along the coastal path tomorrow. The destination? Beveridge Park, where the fabled Bavarian Bierfest is taking place. If it's even half as good as the legendary 2003 extravaganza I'll be happy.

The Germany-Italy game was good yesterday, at least the Germans went down fighting, the same couldn't be said of England's flops a few days ago.

My decision to finally do the West Highland Way has been liberating. Am planning already. The Heidelberg hippy Clemens had better bring some quality German booze with him that's for sure. And lots of money for the pints he owes me..

dead

2006-07-03T19:46:00.000+01:00

It's kinda depressing when you see a good film then look up the actors/actresses on the net to find they are all dead. Watched "A matter of life and death" on DVD last week, OK everyone knows David Niven died a while back, but the rest? Very weird to see co-star Raymond Massey died on exactly the same day as Niven in 1983! Spooky or what? Even the cute young US airwoman (Niven's love interest) died of old age a couple of years back..makes you think. Don't put off til tomorrow what you could do today. Life is short.

Something I've been putting off for ages- the walking of the West Highland Way, will definitely be taking place later this year. I'll be doing things from now on, not postponing them.